Communication Skills Archives - Mind Tools https://www.mindtools.com/blog/tag/communication-skills/ Essential skills for an excellent career Mon, 27 Nov 2023 16:40:37 +0000 en-GB hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.3 https://www.mindtools.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/cropped-mindtools-favicon-32x32.png Communication Skills Archives - Mind Tools https://www.mindtools.com/blog/tag/communication-skills/ 32 32 Accepting Praise – How to Own Your Achievements https://www.mindtools.com/blog/accepting-praise/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/accepting-praise/#comments Wed, 11 Oct 2023 08:18:52 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=18693 There's a lot of advice on giving praise, but how can we accept it gracefully? Mind Tools' Assistant Content Editor, Alice Gledhill, explores why accepting praise can be so difficult.

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It's only right that hard work, skill and commitment are rewarded with praise and gratitude. So why is it so difficult for some of us to graciously accept the recognition that we deserve?

Recently, it occurred to me that there's a lot of advice out there on how to give praise and positive feedback to a hard worker, but very little advice on how to receive these morale-boosting messages.

Accepting praise can make many people feel shy and uncomfortable – often because, even when we feel proud of our achievements, we don't want to appear egotistical.

Rather than accepting praise with polite grace, we'll often sheepishly reject the compliment, or even deny it entirely, changing the conversation as quickly as possible. After all, no one likes a bragger.

Responding With Denial and Deflection

This is exactly how I felt at my dad’s 50th birthday party, just a few days after I had received my university results.

My parents were so proud of me that, on arrival, every single guest already knew my grades. As the party went on, dozens of people I didn’t know greeted me with warm, heartfelt congratulations. It was as if they were there to celebrate me!

I was baffled and a little overwhelmed by so much unexpected praise – especially from strangers!

Concerned about stealing my dad’s spotlight, and also starting to wilt under the sustained praise, I tried to deflect the kind compliments and blend into the background. I joked that the examiner must have been in a very generous mood when she marked my paper, and that I was just "lucky."

To say anything else would be narcissistic, I thought. My impressive grades had absolutely nothing to do with my three years’ hard work and dedication, I assured everyone. Pure coincidence.

There seems to be an unwritten rule (particularly in British culture) that the moment you accept praise is the moment you stop deserving it. It’s better to appear overly modest than overly self-confident… right?

Why Do We Reject Praise?

Praise can tap into many of our insecurities and worries.

Few of us wish to appear vain and immodest. We may worry that our accolade will provoke envy in others. Or, we might feel that the achievement has been exaggerated or overblown – OK, I did well, but it wasn’t that special or important!

In the workplace, there’s the fear that with praise might come extra work and higher expectations. Now that your boss has seen how competent you are, they’re going to pile on the pressure!

Praise might also reinforce the sense of being an impostor. Many people feel like they’re a fraud and live in fear that one day they'll be "found out."

Balancing Pride and Vanity

But, whatever our reasons, deflecting praise can also be perceived as arrogant, and even make our modesty seem little more than a pretense.

Imagine that your co-worker just completed an ultra-triathlon. Their family, friends and colleagues applaud them, but they just shrug it off like it was a walk in the park. Does this attitude seem to undermine the efforts and strain of the other participants, or imply that your co-worker believes that they possess the stamina of a comic-book superhero?

Finding the right balance between pride and vanity is the key to accepting praise gracefully. We needn’t fear what comes after praise: quite often, praise is simply its own reward, and respect is the only thing that follows.

Typically, it’s not the flattery itself that makes us feel bashful, but our own overthinking. If we dare to permit ourselves to enjoy a compliment, we may find it’s not so challenging after all!

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Creating a Praise Culture

A major contributor to our inhibitions around accepting praise is the culture of "constructive criticism."

In every one-on-one meeting or annual appraisal, we’ve all come to expect the dreaded "but" after hearing what we’ve done well. We’re more accustomed to hearing what we need to improve, rather than unqualified praise.

How comfortable we feel when receiving recognition is also dependent on how it’s given – an announcement in front of 40-something co-workers (or party guests!) is enough to make any introvert shiver!

I’ve experienced the difficulties of celebrating achievement in many of my jobs. Having an "Employee of the Month," for example, can help to normalize praise in the workplace and generate motivation, but I’ve also seen how it can spark envy and competition.

A more relaxed approach to praise is having a "kudos" channel on a messaging platform. This allows everyone to share their gratitude toward other members with a little more intimacy and discretion.

But, ultimately, methods like these lack the impact of face-to-face praise. So, how can we accept praise in the right way?

Responding With Grace

Looking back, the affection I received at the party was humbling – people I hardly knew were showering me in admiration because they were genuinely impressed and pleased for me.

My degree hadn’t helped them in any way so there was no obligation to comment, but they still cared enough to say "well done." It was the sincerity that really touched me and made me feel like I had accomplished something spectacular.

Instead of dismissing the praise, I should have commented on how kind they were for noticing, or how pleased I was with my achievement.

Another good option is to "forward" praise – perhaps other people played a part in your success and deserve to share the attention. If you’re still lost for words, a simple "thank you" is the best way to go.

Own Your Strengths

There is absolutely no shame in accepting praise. Genuine messages of admiration are only voiced to those who have earned them.

Someone saying, "You did really well," or, "We couldn’t have done it without you," has the power to boost your self-esteem and make you feel an inch taller.

Not only do the words carry a message of gratitude and recognition, but the thought behind them shows that your efforts are appreciated and not going unnoticed.

So, the next time you get the recognition you deserve, don't hide your pride – own your strengths and try to enjoy the moment. You deserve it!

If you liked this blog, you may be interested in the following resources:

How Do You Take Pride at Work?
Getting Feedback
Celebrating Achievement
Self-Sabotage
How Self-Confident Are You?
Boost Your Self-Esteem Video


About the Author:

Alice Gledhill commissions, plans and writes many of our blogs. An Assistant Content Editor, she also makes videos and infographics, as well as handling the many requests we get to reuse our content. A restless learner, Alice is currently doing a master’s degree in media, ethics and social change. Away from work, she’s happiest when she’s spending time with friends, roller-skating, or playing Lady Gaga at top volume.

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Acronyms and Abbreviations: a Shortcut to Suffering If You're Neurodivergent https://www.mindtools.com/blog/acronyms-and-abbreviations-a-shortcut-to-suffering-if-youre-neurodivergent/ Thu, 03 Aug 2023 13:45:42 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/?p=38067 Abbreviations are like hiccups in an article that otherwise would have been enjoyable to read. Really annoying hiccups that I wish would just go away.

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Once upon a time, I was in a meeting. (In fact, hundreds of times I've been in meetings... but I'm trying to tell a story here, so let’s go with "once"!) We were looking at some fairly complicated statistics, but it was all clearly presented and easy to understand. Lots of nice graphs and easy-to-follow bullets. I was taking notes, feeling confident that I was following what was being said, and sure that I could participate in any discussion that might follow.

But then confusion struck. The presenter decided to say this: "So to get our SEO up higher, we really need some strong CTAs. Otherwise, our BR is going to stay high. What we need is some good CRO. So if we could all go back and add some really great CTAs by EOP today that would be great."

I looked around at my fellow colleagues. They were all nodding along.

"Why?" I thought to myself. "Why are they nodding, when what's been said is clearly some form of alien language? Do they understand it? Because I certainly don't. But I don't want to look stupid. Best to just keep quiet and nod along like I understand it all. No one will notice."

And they all lived utterly confused every after. The end.

(Not really. Let's continue... )

Acronyms and Abbreviations: Why Do We Use Them? Why?!

I cannot fully express just how much I hate abbreviations. When I'm reading a sentence and one appears suddenly, without warning (and with no explanation), I'll be honest, I just want to throw my computer out the window.

But, in reality – and because I'd then have to have a very complicated and uncomfortable discussion with my boss – I basically just ignore the sentence. I gloss over it and make up some phrase that I think the letters probably stand for. CTA? "Clever Thing Alright"?

Abbreviations are like hiccups in an article that otherwise would have been enjoyable to read. Really annoying hiccups that I wish would just go away. And, while most people use abbreviations to communicate things quickly, I'd argue that what they're actually doing is distorting meaning and alienating others. In fact, they often leave me feeling pretty stupid and excluded from the “aren't-we-so-clever" abbreviation club.

The History of Abbreviations

While writing this blog, I thought I'd try to understand what exactly lies at the heart of our apparent dependency on business acronyms and abbreviations. Interestingly, I discovered that they actually stretch back to ancient Rome. But abbreviations really took hold when publishers used them to try to save precious space on printed pages.

Spies have often used acronyms or abbreviated words to code their messages. (Trying to understand them is often like trying to decode some secret language!)

And abbreviations have become particularly popular for shortening lengthy technical or scientific terms. In fact, research published by elifesciences found that over one million acronyms and abbreviations have been introduced since 1950. Interestingly, many of these are exactly the same, but have different meanings. The abbreviation UA, for example, has 18 different meanings in medicine alone.

The research also revealed that our increasing use of acronyms and abbreviations, particularly in scientific papers, has led to a "knowledge-ignorance paradox." Essentially, the number of scientific papers being published has increased, but the knowledge being imparted has reduced. Because scientific papers are often written in an overly complex way that leaves the reader scratching their head.

And while it's true that some abbreviations are so well-known they could be considered words in themselves – DNA, for example, or CIA, FBI, LOL – these are rare. And new abbreviations (many of which I suspect people have just made up because they couldn't be bothered to type out a full phrase or are trying to sound clever) are way too common.

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Acronyms and Abbreviations Vs. Accessibility

Accessibility is now a big buzzword for many organizations and content creators. And acronyms and abbreviations, while they do often have their uses, aren't particularly accessible. Screen readers can't read them – or read them incorrectly. And, for people who have neurodivergences that make reading challenging, they can be annoying at best, inscrutable at worst.

I've recently had the wonderful privilege of running a neurodiversity panel at work to learn more about neurodivergence and the challenges that people who are neurodivergent experience in the workplace. Among the panel are people with a range of neurodivergent conditions, including autism, dyslexia, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (or ADHD – sorry about the abbreviation there).

One comment that came from all of the participants on the panel – and I mean every single one – was this: STOP USING ACRONYMS AND ABBREVIATIONS!

So, I asked the panel to explain further. Why are abbreviations so annoying for people who are neurodivergent? Unsurprisingly, they had a lot to say...

Melanie Bell, Content Editor and Writer at Mind Tools

"Acronyms and abbreviations are part of office jargon that many organizations use more than they need to! It can be hard to figure out or remember what acronyms stand for. I think most employees would benefit if they were used a lot less – and were clearly explained if they absolutely needed to be used.

"I used to work for a think tank that used a ton of acronyms in papers. They had a few that were general knowledge in the field, so not spelled out. But most of them were explained in an abbreviation key, and also spelled out upon first use. I think sometimes abbreviations are useful for conveying complex information, especially when we're using the same long one(s) repeatedly. But we need to check for understanding. It's part of being clear and kind. It barely takes any extra time to say what an abbreviation stands for when you use it in a meeting or talk. Communication should be about making sure people understand what we're saying. Don't make it the listener's responsibility to say, 'I don't know – explain, please.'"

Jason Richardson, Talent Development Lead at Emerald Group

"I find them overwhelming and overused. Most of the time, they don't add to the conversation, and there are so many with the same letters... it's just unnecessary! Say the total words once so everyone knows the context, then crack on.

"I've found that I need to ignore them if I understand the context. Or if I'm lost, I ask what it means, which wastes time – which is ironic as they were meant to save time.

"Having an acronym or abbreviation key wouldn't work for me either, especially in publishing, as there are loads. For example, everything in my business starts with an E, as all the products begin with an E. They really need to ditch them, or at least do a one-month amnesty where we all see what happens when we don't use them. If they're missed, then bring them back, and I'll embrace them as much as I can."

Gabi Hart, Product Manager at Emerald Group

"I have dyslexia and I find acronyms and abbreviations are always a hurdle for me to overcome and I need time to decode them. Even if I've used them before, it can sometimes be hard to remember the actual meaning behind them rather than just seeing them as a string of letters.

"Using acronyms or abbreviations with no 'key' can make me feel that I don't understand something that someone else feels is so obvious it needs no explanation, which is disheartening. It makes the assumption everyone knows what you're talking about, which can be dividing to other staff, especially neurodivergent and newer staff.

"The first time an acronym or abbreviation is used in a piece of text, ensuring that the full phrase is used is useful. That way I can check what it stands for within that text, without having to google it or find an internal document to explain."

Emily Vaz, Business Partner at Mind Tools

"I have a mixed relationship with acronyms and abbreviations – sometimes they're great, and sometimes they're really challenging. I can often mistake one I'm not familiar with for an actual word which has, on occasion, made me look a little silly. I've found that I've become very accustomed to not being familiar with a word or a word looking odd, so sometimes an abbreviation doesn't obviously stand out as being an abbreviation.

"I also struggle with abbreviations where the letters don't reflect the full name. For example, LWOP (leave without pay). The extra O throws me off. And in ETA (estimated time of arrival) not having the O also throws me off. That being said, abbreviations I use regularly and am very familiar with, I prefer to use – such as FTE (full-time equivalent). I use that one a lot, and would struggle to spell 'equivalent' – so it definitely helps me out.

"They can be tricky, especially if it's a particularly niche abbreviation that can't be easily googled. I'm never usually afraid to ask, but I do worry that I'm asking what a word means rather than an abbreviation. As I mentioned, I sometimes struggle to know whether an abbreviation is an actual word or not. If I don't feel comfortable asking, I tend to ignore it or just try and guess what it might mean. I appreciate if people put what it means in brackets at least once, so that, if it's referred to again, I can go back and check what it means.

"An acronym or abbreviation key is great, or having acronyms in a separate color or underlined, so I can identify that it's not a word."

Jaye O'Farrell-Stevens, Customer Support Manager at Mind Tools

"I hate acronyms and abbreviations with a passion, and I hate them despite my dyslexia, although my dyslexia certainly makes it worse. When I started my engineering studies, if we used an abbreviation, we would be 'hit over the head,' and it was drilled into us that they are the reserve of people who wish to sound intelligent without being intelligent. They are exclusionary and presumptive and, by forcing you to say, "Sorry, what does that stand for?" or just having to pretend you know, make you feel silly, and the other person mighty.

"When I first joined Mind Tools, I think every second utterance was an abbreviation, and I felt completely 'at sea' – but didn't want to make a fool of myself by asking what it stood for. Because presumably, if everyone knows, surely I should. I felt so stupid and a complete impostor. I genuinely came to fear one-on-one meetings when I couldn't discreetly look up what SEO stood for!

"I think the use of acronyms and abbreviations is a way to show you're 'in the club,' part of the team – that you really get it. It's a way for people to express themselves and assert their knowledge or position in a team. I think they're really exclusionary and I try and avoid using them as much as possible."

How to Use Acronyms and Abbreviations the Right Way

As much as I'd like to say, "Acronyms: please bogoff forever" (and I don't mean buy-one-get-one-free), unfortunately they're here, and here to stay, at least in some cases. I mean, I'm hardly going to say deoxyribonucleic acid in full every time I talk about DNA (not that I talk about DNA a lot, but you get the picture). Nonetheless, there are some simple things that we can all do to use acronyms and abbreviations appropriately and in a way that isn't exclusionary or presumptive:

  1. Know your audience. Don't make assumptions about what acronyms and abbreviations people know and don't know, especially if you're giving a presentation or are in a team meeting.
  1. Spell it out. It's polite to say or spell out the phrase in its entirety, at least in the first instance. That way people can refer back to it as they read through the text.
  1. Avoid making up acronyms or abbreviations. There are already too many, so avoid making more up! It's fine to use common acronyms or abbreviations that are widely used in society or in your particular industry. But even then, try to limit yourself to three or fewer per document.
  1. Use periods or spaces between letters if creating content for the web. This is best practice for accessibility because screen readers will read the letters individually, rather than as one word. It also signals to readers that this is an acronym or abbreviation that you're using, not a word.
  1. Provide an acronym and abbreviation "key" or set up an acronym expander. If you use acronyms and abbreviations regularly, consider providing a glossary that your audience can refer back to, if necessary. If you have time on your hands, you can even set up your own acronym expander using autocorrect.
  1. Underline acronyms and abbreviations in the text so people can identify them. This can help people to identify which words are acronyms or abbreviations and which aren't, as the distinction isn't always clear. This can be particularly helpful to people who have dyslexia and struggle to read some words.

Lucy Bishop

About the Author:

Senior editor Lucy has over 10 years' experience writing, editing and commissioning content. She regularly contributes to the Mind Tools blog, heads up Mind Tools' video learning series, hosts our Neurodiversity Panel, and particularly enjoys exploring and experimenting with new video formats. When she's not producing fantastic new learning content, she can be found enjoying nature with her two kids and delving into the latest book on her very long reading list!

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3 Tools for Speaking Out at Work – All NEW Empowerment Videos https://www.mindtools.com/blog/3-tools-for-speaking-out-at-work-all-new-empowerment-videos/ Tue, 30 May 2023 12:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/?p=37474 I'm going to start with a confession. There have been some points in my life where I've avoided speaking out when I really should have. One such time, when I was young (16 or 17), I saw a local shopkeeper getting harassed by a group of three young girls. I knew the shopkeeper... had often […]

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I'm going to start with a confession. There have been some points in my life where I've avoided speaking out when I really should have.

One such time, when I was young (16 or 17), I saw a local shopkeeper getting harassed by a group of three young girls. I knew the shopkeeper... had often bought sweets from her shop on my way home from school. I didn't know what to do. The shopkeeper was trying to push these bullies out of the shop, and they were pushing and shoving the door right back. They were shouting and screaming at her. I was driving past in my car at the time. One voice in my head said "Get out and help her." The other (the winning voice as it turned out) said "What if you get hurt? Go find more help first."

So I raced home, got my mum and we went back to check on her together. Luckily, she was OK. But I distinctly remember the shopkeeper saying to me, "Why didn't you get out and help me?"

Truth be told, I should have. But I was scared and I panicked. I wish I'd been more brave, but my courage failed me. And I honestly still regret my decision to this day.

From Passive Bystander to Active Bystander

It can be hard to find the courage to intervene in situations like this. And, of course, if you do feel it's a situation that might be dangerous, the right decision is to go find extra help. But, I think the biggest learning I found from being a helpless (and as it turned out passive) bystander, was how I wished I could go back and be an active one... even if it did mean inserting myself into the fight. Why? Because it was the right thing to do.

What also would have been helpful to me back then was knowing how to intervene... what was the right way to approach a situation like this? What should I have done?

In our video, The 4Ds of Bystander Intervention, we talk about how to tackle tricky situations like these at work. Situations where you feel like you need to intervene to protect someone. It could be a colleague who keeps getting ignored in meetings, for example, being talked over, or even being bullied.

In the video, we describe four key ways you can intervene in situations like this and go from being a passive bystander to an active one.

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Breaking the Glass Ceiling

Speaking out at work about the things you find systemically wrong can be really hard, and something that needs to be navigated carefully. Lack of progression for women, people who are disabled, or people who belong to a specific ethnic group, for example, is still a significant problem. Often, we might find ourselves feeling helpless to overcome these kinds of problems. But there are some things we can do to challenge things in a progressive and positive way.

We talk a lot about equality and equity in the workplace, and yet there are still glass ceilings imposed at work, for seemingly no other reason than "that's just the way things are." These barriers prevent marginalized people from getting the opportunities they deserve.

In our short video, Breaking the Glass Ceiling, we provide some great advice for employees and employers that can help them to tackle bias like this at work, and develop a culture that improves equity for all.

Avoiding Cognitive Bias

Finally, underpinning much of what we've talked about today is bias. Much has said been said in recent years about "unconscious bias," and whether it really is something we have or not. And, more importantly, whether there's anything we can really do about it. The truth is we do all have biases, whether they are unconscious or not – and they're often rooted in our values, our personal experiences, and our relationships.

They can cause us to miss or ignore certain things to get our own way, or to make snap decisions without really considering all points of view. Inevitably, this can cause us to make some pretty poor decisions. But there are some things we can do to test our biases and overcome them.

In our video on Cognitive Bias, we explore five different types of bias that we may experience, and discover what we can do to challenge and overcome them.


Lucy Bishop

About the Author:

Lucy has over 10 years’ experience writing, editing and commissioning content. She has a keen interest in supporting inclusion and diversity, and facilitates Mind Tools' neurodiversity panel. Lucy also heads up Mind Tools’ video learning series, and particularly enjoys exploring and experimenting with new video formats. When she’s not producing fantastic new learning content, she can be found enjoying nature with her two kids and delving into the latest book on her very long reading list!

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Exaggeration: Lying or Not? – #MTtalk Roundup https://www.mindtools.com/blog/exaggeration-lying-or-not/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/exaggeration-lying-or-not/#comments Tue, 07 Jun 2022 11:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=31468 "Exaggeration? I don't mind some theatrics, but I do mind if people use it to manipulate." - Zala Bricelj

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"Magnifying a matter is not the way to mend it."

Ivy Compton-Burnett, English novelist

I grew up around a community of anglers: family and friends who liked to fish. If you've spent time with anglers, you've likely heard a "fish tale."

That would be the outlandish story about the size or number of fish caught.

Mike_Barzacchini
Mike Barzacchini

There's even a way that some anglers hold a fish when being photographed. Yep, arms extended fully in front of them, to exaggerate the size of the fish in the photo.

In many ways, our world is organized around fish tales. We talk and read about "the best," "the greatest," and "the most."

Not to mention all the top 10 to top 100 lists out there, ranking everything from vacation destinations to pizza.

Exaggeration Boasts Little Appeal

It's not unusual to hear someone exclaim, "It's the greatest meal I've ever eaten." Or, "That's the greatest movie I've ever seen." Until the next greatest meal or movie comes along – sometimes as soon as the next week!

These exaggerations can be relatively harmless. Fish tales and claims of the greatest pizza fall into the category of hyperbole. Hyperbole is defined as exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally. The key there is "not meant to be taken literally."

Hyperbole may embellish and even entertain, but it's relatively benign. It's when exaggeration seeks to persuade or influence that it may cause harm.

If I exaggerate my experience, I may land a job or assignment for which I'm not suited. If I exaggerate the impact of a project or service, I may disappoint my customer and ultimately risk success. And if my exaggerations are believed, I'm taking others down a disingenuous path.

If my exaggerations are found out, I'll quickly build a reputation – as someone whose claims cannot be trusted.

Critical Thinking Exposes Exaggeration

So how do I deal with a world filled with exaggerations, or with the exaggerators in my world?

Critical thinking can be an effective counter to exaggeration. When confronted with an exaggeration or assumption, critical thinkers analyze all available facts, evidence and observations.

They approach claims with rational, unbiased skepticism. They ask questions to learn more. And often that simple practice of asking questions is enough to disarm the exaggeration.

The Dangers of Lying

In order to survive, exaggerations need to be taken at face value. Critical thinking takes nothing at face value. But critical thinking also takes time and effort. Often, I become too seduced by the exaggeration to put my critical-thinking gears in motion.

As Richard Paul, the founder of the Foundation of Critical Thinking, wrote: ​​"Critical thinking is thinking about your thinking while you're thinking in order to make your thinking better."

Sound exhausting? Not really, but it does take practice. Critical thinking is more of a mindset adjustment. And it's much less exhausting than becoming derailed or distracted by the next exaggeration we encounter.

Critical thinking is also an ongoing endeavor. It's a practice to be honed. And to a world sometimes infected with exaggeration, it's a great antidote.

Exaggeration: Lying or Not?

During Friday's #MTtalk Twitter chat, we discussed what exaggeration means to us and when we use it. Here are some of your best responses to all the questions we asked:

Q1. How can you tell that someone is exaggerating?

@MikeB_MT Broad statements, bold statements, without detail or evidence. Over excitement when making statements. Changing "facts" to fit the purpose.

@ZalaB_MT Exaggeration comes in many shapes and forms. Some can be culturally or community-specific, and some can be personal (style or trait). It often shows in the way people talk, their body language, the words they use. And the context in which it's used.

Q2. When I hear someone exaggerating, I immediately think _________.

@Midgie_MT I wonder what other things they exaggerate about. What is truth and what is fiction? I trust them a bit less.

@SarahH_MT Why do you think this is necessary? Who are you trying to impress here? Do you actually believe what you're saying? Are you deluded or do you think I'm stupid? Oh heck, that's a lot!

@ColfaxInsurance This is a topic that excites them a lot. For whatever reason, they are agitated, excited, etc about whatever they're talking about. So it must have made an impression on them when it happened.

Q3. How do you react to exaggeration?

@ThiamMeka2Gogue It depends on the intention of the exaggeration. I politely excuse myself and walk away if it's frustrating. Or I face it with humor, by showing an over-the-top response to their story if it's just for fun.

@Yolande_MT I'm a critical thinker and I'm always asking questions. So I'll usually ask a question. I want to know why they say so, where they got the info from. If it's really "never" or "always" etc.

Q4. Why do people exaggerate? How does it serve them?

@BRAVOMedia1 Insecurity, lack of self-esteem, need to be heard no matter what, to self-inflate. To make themselves feel important at the expense of someone else. Or overstate the truth to bolster their own ego.

@AnuMeera2024 A lack of self-awareness of what they're saying, or low self-esteem. They create an alternate reality. Also, to fit in or yield to peer pressure, or bad intentions to gain (the worst type of all).

@J_Stephens_CPA Sometimes it's to increase attention on a real problem. "Hundreds impacted by the issue" is more likely to get a fix than "Dozens reported the problem."

Q5. Is exaggeration the same as lying? Why/why not?

@Yolande_MT If you exaggerate with the intent of making it sound like the truth to benefit you, it's a lie. Intentional exaggeration for the purpose of a laugh or a good pub story is probably not so high on the "lie scale."

@SarahH_MT Most people who exaggerate don't do so to intentionally lie. They would probably not recognize their exaggeration as lying in any case. Perhaps it's about intent? Lying is intentional deceit and exaggeration is unintentional?

Q6. Is exaggeration spontaneous and/or learned behavior? Can it be unlearned? Please explain.

@junkkDNA It's mostly behavior that's adopted and nurtured over time. However, in cases of fun and happy banter, or when one's excited about something, it can be spontaneous as well.

@ZalaB_MT Exaggeration is partly learned and partly spontaneous. The only difference is to be aware of why we exaggerate and when we use it. I don't mind some theatrics, but I do mind if people use it to manipulate.

Q7. Exaggeration is harmless, and might even be necessary to make a point. Yes or no? Explain.

@Mind_Tools It might be harmless if it's used to get a point across. For instance, "We will never get anywhere at this pace." It's an exaggeration and everybody in the conversation probably knows it. It's an alternative way of saying, "We need to move faster."

@SoniaH_MT When someone uses exaggeration to help explain a point, it can help others to learn. It's the messenger's responsibility to state the exaggeration, compare it with the solid facts, and close the gap.

Q8. How would you challenge someone who often exaggerates?

@ThiamMeka2Gogue I would challenge the reasons behind the exaggeration. By showing I already find them interesting and already like them – without their inflated stories.

@Mind_Tools You can ask a person to back up their statements with evidence.

Q9. How might you help a colleague to see the damage that their exaggeration causes?

@Midgie_MT By asking, "What if... " type questions. I'm thinking along the line of exaggerating on a CV or in an interview. Saying that they could do something and then be faced with actually having to do it.

@MikeB_MT Sharing how their exaggerations may be harming their reputation or others. Showing how factual claims are much more effective and lasting.

Q10. How can an organization or individual salvage trust after losing it through exaggeration?

@NWarind Organizations are paying hefty amounts to lobbying firms and advertisement companies when they need to salvage trust.

@Midgie_MT With lots of hard work! Being always truthful, transparent, and upfront with things. Acknowledging limitations and weaknesses and yet doing something about it.

To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet collection of this chat here.

Coming Up

Co-workers may gossip, exaggerate, or in some cases even lie. What would happen if a colleague did something deceptive that caused you a lot of hurt? How would you move forward?

In our upcoming #MTtalk Twitter chat, we'll be discussing forgiveness: what it is and when it's possible – or not. In our Twitter poll this week, we'd like to know how you'd feel about forgiving a person who hurt you.

"Exaggeration" Resources

Note that you will need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member to see all of the resources in full.

Rumors in the Workplace

Coaching to Develop Self-Awareness

Questioning Techniques

Developing "Character"

Gaining the Trust of Your New Team

Dealing With Conflicts of Interest

How to Be Tactful

Managing "Rogues"

Ethical Leadership

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Three Reasons Answers Are More Important Than Questions https://www.mindtools.com/blog/three-reasons-answers-are-more-important-than-questions/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/three-reasons-answers-are-more-important-than-questions/#comments Thu, 17 Jun 2021 11:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=26788 Every question starts as an imperfect answer that stimulates curiosity in the world

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In grade school, you learned about the six "WH" questions (why, what, when, where, who, how). You did not learn about a parallel list of answer types.

I've picked out three quotes for this piece that I consider to be representative of society's thought leaders. These luminaries, too, are focused upon questions, not answers:

"Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers," from philosopher Voltaire; "We thought that we had the answers, it was the questions we had wrong," from U2's Bono; and, "If I had an hour to solve a problem, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask," from scientist Albert Einstein.

The professor stresses the research question, not the research answer. On Amazon, business books with question in the title outnumber books with answer in the title three to one. The imbalance is real. We are all focused upon questions, not answers.

My new book, "Answer Intelligence: Raise Your AQ," is a direct response to the lack of awareness and critical examination that has been paid to answers.

By studying expert communicators, I identified six answer types (story, metaphor, theory, concept, procedure, action) that can be provided to important questions.

The most important thing I learned in researching my book is that answers are more important than questions, both in business and in life.

I will be the first to admit that I value both questions and answers. Choosing between them is like choosing between your children. But, if I'm pressed to choose a side, I would argue that answers are the first among equals.

Here are three reasons why answers are more important than questions:

1. Answers come before questions.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Those in the know will point out that the egg came before the chicken. Two birds that were not chickens mated and created the first "chicken egg." Hence, the egg came first.

Which comes first, a question or answer? Counterintuitively, I would argue that an answer always precedes a question. Before the explorers set sail for the New World, they questioned the prevailing answer at the time – that the world was flat.

In my book, the point that answers occur before questions is illustrated in the sales context. During cold calls, the goal of the sales rep is to get a first appointment with a prospect on the phone.

An analysis of 500,000+ cold calls from Gong revealed that the most effective way to win an appointment during a cold call was for the sales rep to provide a story or metaphor (or another answer, in AQ terms). That response tended to stimulate a question in the prospect. It's this question that becomes the reason they agree to the next sales call.

2. Answers are for influence.

As a consultant, I was hired because I could provide answers. Specifically, I would work with clients that had the questions figured out. For example, one client had employee-turnover problems, and they would ask me, "Why is turnover occurring?"

I was hired as a social scientist because of my knowledge of turnover theory. In other words, I was hired for my answers, not my questions.

More generally, answers are for influence. Story and metaphor provide emotional impact. Theory and concept explain and predict. Procedure and action achieve results.

3. Answers are more difficult than questions.

It's easy to come up with important why, what, and how questions for any topic. For a job interview, say, these questions could be: "What is your number one soft skill?", "Why should I hire you?", "How well do you work with others?"

Or, in a sales meeting: "What is your product?", "Why should I buy from you?", "How does your product work?" The difficult part is answering these questions.

In an interview context, each job candidate should be able to provide all six AQ answers for their number one soft skill. However, in working with college students entering the job market, I've found that 40 percent cannot identify a metaphor for their top soft skill.

If leadership is your number one soft skill, you should be able to define it. For example, leadership as a concept can be defined as holding people accountable and inspiring them to be their better selves. And, as a metaphor, leadership is a braided rope. Two ropes are strong separately, but made stronger when they're braided together. Accordingly, leaders who simultaneously hold people accountable and inspire them are more effective.

Question Yourself

When I prepare for a sales call, a client workshop, my next podcast, or any important conversation, I still anticipate the questions that are going to be asked, and try to ask thoughtful questions myself.

But, after my research, I now pay much more attention to the answers that are exchanged in a conversation.

First, I realize that every question starts as an imperfect answer that stimulates curiosity in the world. By reflecting upon answers, I gain an appreciation for the reasons why others ask questions. And when I reflect upon answers, I ask better questions myself.

Second, I focus upon answers because I want to meet the curiosity of questions with the equal force of answers – to influence and inspire meaningful change in others.

Finally, I focus upon answers because they are the more difficult aspect of the communication equation.

I will leave you with one final thought. The title of my book, and the accompanying website, reflects that answers, not questions, are underappreciated and a deserving focus of critical examination.

My hope is that my book will bring back into balance the yin and yang of communication. In that spirit, AQ has a hidden, secondary meaning. It also stands for "Answers + Questions."

Answers first, because they're an exciting new focus. And I want to encourage you to think about answers first, in a question-first world.

Buy the Book, Download the Review

Want to hear more about Dr Glibkowski's Answer Intelligence framework? Buy his ebook from the Mind Tools store now!

Mind Tools reviews the best new business books and the tested classics in its monthly Book Insight for the Mind Tools Club. So, if you’re a Club member or enterprise licensee, you can download or stream the "Answer Intelligence" Book Insight in text or audio format.

If you haven’t already signed up, join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to all 2,400+ resources, including approximately 400 Book Insights. For a corporate solution, take a look at our Mind Tools for Business site.

Your Answers, Please

Is the world too focused on questions? Do we pay enough attention to the answers we hear and give? How do you try to give good answers? Join the discussion, below.

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Don’t Ignore the Messenger: Our Expert Interview With Stephen Martin and Joseph Marks https://www.mindtools.com/blog/expert-interview-messengers/ Thu, 25 Jun 2020 11:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=22013 What makes you sit up and listen to someone? In our latest Expert Interview podcast, we learn about the eight traits of effective communicators

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When behavioral experts Stephen Martin and Joseph Marks wrote their book "Messengers," they based it on something that we all once took for granted: face-to-face communication. Now, in the age of physical distancing, how much does their insight apply?

The Eight Messenger Traits

Subtitled "Who We Listen To, Who We Don't, and Why," their book explores eight traits that influence our willingness to believe what people say.

Four of these are "hard" traits, based on status: socioeconomic position, competence, dominance, and attractiveness. The other four are "soft" traits, based on connectedness: warmth, vulnerability, trustworthiness, and charisma.


In this clip from our Expert Interview podcast, the authors of "Messengers" outline the scope of their research.


How to Get Your Message Across

By highlighting the power of these characteristics, the authors wanted people to better understand why they respond positively or negatively to certain messages. But, as readers began to feed back after publication, another benefit of the book emerged.

"A lot of people have come back and said, 'We find this book most useful because it's given me some hints and tips about how I, perhaps, position my message differently,'" Martin says. "'I don't change the message, I don't change the recommendation, or what I'm asking for, but I recognize that by positioning it in a different way I might get a better response. Or, in some instances, I recognize that I might not necessarily be the right person to deliver this message.'"

Whatever we take from the book, its lessons can be game-changing, as we navigate and progress in the world. It's been months since I interviewed Martin and Marks. But I still find myself reflecting on their insight as I watch politicians on TV, or colleagues via Zoom. How is the messenger affecting how I receive the message?

Communication in a Time of Isolation

COVID-19 sent most of our communication online. But I think the eight messenger traits are still relevant, if somewhat distorted – like in a hall of mirrors. Some diminished, some blown up, and others altered entirely.

Take the trait "dominance" as an example. People strong in this trait "will often come into the room and they seem to consume the space, they use wide gestures, they sometimes invade others' personal space as well," Martin says.

Being physically big packs a punch. So when we're all reduced to a small rectangle on a computer monitor, that trait loses most of its impact. Likewise, social cues have changed and body language is less important.

Conversely, when we're communicating online, we can control what our colleagues see. In this way, we can enhance our stock in the other hard traits. For example, we can signal the traits of "socioeconomic position" and "competence" by what we display behind us: original art or sports trophies, degree certificates or the latest business books.

Making the Traits Work for You

Some of the traits from "Messengers" may seem out of our control. But there's more that we can do to improve them than you might think. Take the trait "attractiveness," for example.

Although there is a limit to what we can do about our attractiveness, something as simple as dressing up smart can have a huge impact. In one of the book's case studies, we learn that defendants who take care of their physical appearance in court are far less likely to be sent to prison.

"That's a really interesting example to me," says Martin. "Of the power of that surface vision of attractiveness. And we make these inferences and judgments within a matter of milliseconds and they can have some significant impacts on people's perception of us as a result."

Another study, about the effect of including photos on job applications, found that classically attractive candidates received interview callbacks more often than unattractive ones.

"The advice was don't put a photograph on the CV, as it can have a detrimental impact on you getting the job," Martin recalls. "So, perhaps the message here is to recognize where you are, and to play some of these other effects to compensate."

Building Your "Attractiveness"

In the world of online communication there is a lot we can do on this front. For example, positioning our webcam to show us in the best light is an easy win.

Perhaps the best news is that by increasing your ability in the other seven traits (such as "charisma" or "competence"), often perceived attractiveness increases as a result.

"A lot of the time, if you have one of these other traits, you are rated as more attractive," says Marks. "Those who are more charismatic, extrovert, warmer, positive, tend to be rated as more attractive."

"Messengers" is packed with case studies and insight into the eight messenger traits, how to recognize them, understand their impact, and put them to good use. The authors don't delve far into more sensitive areas, such as gender and race, which some readers might find disappointing. But the universality of the characteristics they do highlight makes the lessons of this book accessible to all.

Listen to Our Interview With Stephen Martin and Joseph Marks

Discover fascinating insights from some of the world's leading business figures with our monthly Expert Interviews.

Mind Tools Premium and corporate members can listen to the full 30-minute interview with Stephen Martin and Joseph Marks.

If you're not a Mind Tools member, you can join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to our 2,400+ resources, including 200+ Expert Interviews. For our corporate solutions, take a look at our Emerald Works site.

Do you ever struggle to get your voice heard? Has the move to video-conferencing affected your communication? Let us know in the Comments section, below.

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Does Self-Talk Help or Hinder? – #MTtalk Roundup https://www.mindtools.com/blog/self-talk-mttalk/ Tue, 09 Jun 2020 11:06:45 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=21709 When should you listen to your inner voice, and when does it just get in the way? Here's a collection of comments from our latest #MTtalk Twitter chat

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"Our best friend and our worst enemy reside within us."

Maddy Malhotra, Indian coach & author

Have you ever listened to a young child talking to themselves out loud? It's fascinating to listen to them use self-talk in order to make sense of the world around them.

Self-talk is a mechanism that we all adopt at a young age in order to understand our environment and experiences. But how does our inner dialogue change over time, and what effect does this have on our actions and relationships with others?

Private Speech

The Russian psychologist, Lev Vygotsky, theorized in the early 1900s that private speech is the forerunner of inner dialogue.

Private speech is typically observed in children between two and seven years of age. Although it's called "private speech," it is spoken out loud as the child communicates with themselves.

Through his research, Vygotsky was the first to notice that children used private speech to guide themselves and regulate their behavior. Many of us will have heard a young child comforting themselves using language that mimics a parent or caregiver. That's the child using private speech to regulate their emotions.

Although Jean Piaget, another pioneer researcher of private speech, thought that this type of speech eventually developed into fully mature speech, Vygotsky believed differently. He said that audible private speech goes "underground" around the age of seven; and, instead of talking aloud, a child starts using inner speech – and that continues all the way through life.

As adults, our self-talk (also called inner speech or internal dialogue) is ever-present – whether we're aware of it or not.

Optimists tend to have more positive inner dialogue, while the opposite is true for pessimists. The tone of your self-talk can therefore discourage or motivate, distress or comfort, help or hinder.

Tuning In

Imagine that your mind is a radio station. In order to cut out the white noise and hear your self-talk clearly, you need to tune in to the constant stream of dialogue in your mind. What are you saying about yourself and others? Do you like what you're hearing? Is it a pleasant "station" to listen to?

Keep Self-Talk in Check!

One of my friends, Sarah, is a business owner. She had to fire one of her favorite employees last year because they committed theft.

Shortly afterward, she appointed a new employee called Betty. Betty is very competent and a fast worker, but Sarah didn't much like her as a person.

Over the months, I could "hear" the negative chatter going on in Sarah's mind through what she told me. One day we were drinking coffee and I asked her what she told herself about Betty.

As our conversation unfolded, and Sarah started unpicking her inner dialogue, she realized that her self-talk was negatively influencing her thoughts and actions, without much reason.

She made a decision to change what she said to herself about Betty. As soon as Sarah adjusted her self-talk, she became more accepting of Betty, and subsequently made a bigger effort to train and coach her. And now, someone who was simply the "new" employee is fast becoming Sarah's right hand in the business!

In this instance, the "radio station" playing in Sarah's head was a hindrance to her working relationship.

You Hear Everything You Say

There's one person who hears everything you say aloud and in your head: you.

If your self-talk is positive, it can help you to deal with difficult situations in a constructive and helpful manner. If your self-talk is mostly negative, even the smallest problems can feel overwhelming.

Contrary to what people often believe, you can control your self-talk. If you're used to talking to yourself in a certain way or tone, it will become a mental reflex. But, by becoming more self-aware, you can develop more positive self-talk.

Does Self-Talk Help or Hinder?

During our #MTtalk Twitter chat last Friday, we explored how self-talk could help or hinder us. Here are the questions we asked and some of your most insightful responses:

Q1. Why do you need to be aware of your self-talk if only you can hear it?

@WyleWrites This helps to avoid body language that can disrupt others who are not part of the conversation with yourself.

@carriemaslen Your self-talk comes through loud and clear through your actions and how you treat others.

Q2. When has self-talk not served you well? What was the result?

@DhongdeSupriya Many times! When my self-talk is engulfed in beliefs, biases and it restricts me to take that required risk!

@JKatzaman Self-talk can make a perceived bad situation worse as you run through and start believing all worst-case scenarios. Then you feel relieved or foolish after you let yourself feed on yourself for nought.

Q3. What is the tone/persona of the voice that dominates your self-talk?

@Chetna1806 It's analytical in nature. The tone depends on the concern. And the funny part is one [that] can be humorous too.

@PG_pmp It depends on the type of thoughts going on inside... the impact of the outside world.

Q4. How do you determine when you need to change your self-talk?

@shamikv I can't, unless I elevate my consciousness level. Most of the time it acts as a counterweight to emotions.

@BRAVOMedia1 Sometimes we can be our own worst critic. It is time to change the self-talk when it is harming one's self or others. And I know this can be challenging when life feels overwhelming. Then I remember the words of my greatest teacher: "keep moving!"

Q5. What strategies have you used to change your self-talk?

@MarkC_Avgi Fortunately, my self-talk has seldom been self-berating, which I know is often common with many. Many years ago, I was "in that place" but realized that it was doing me more harm than good so, anytime I begin to do it again, I remember those times and stop.

@NWarind Change the mode of conversation from me-only to include others as well.

Q6. How can self-talk influence your relationships?

@LeadershipBEST The quality of the relationship with the person you self-talk about will be the same as the quality of the self-talk about them. If you talk badly about them to yourself, all nice around them, it will be a phoney relationship.

@Midgie_MT If the self-talk is negative, it will influence how you interact with others and what "stories" you tell yourself about the relationship (be that a professional or personal one).

Q7. How do self-respect and self-talk feed into one another?

@Yolande_MT The less you like yourself, the more you criticize others. Respect for others starts with self-respect. How I talk to myself sets the scene for how I talk to others.

@MicheleDD_MT Self-respect creates high self-esteem. It generates positive self-talk. You are less likely to question the intention of others. It creates a force field around you. Actions of others cannot penetrate the shield.

Q8. What helps you to keep the self-talk positive?

@LeadershipBEST When we learn to filter our own self-talk through the filter of THINK – is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind – it gives us perspective. And if it doesn't meet those criteria, it probably isn't positive... and we don't have time for that!

@emotivefit It is all about momentum from my experience. If momentum is good then ST (self-talk) is positive. If momentum is a struggle, which influences motivation, then ST is negative.

Q9. When does positive self-talk become a hindrance?

@carriemaslen Positive self-talk is non-productive when it's not based in reality. Self-esteem comes from accomplishments & results, not empty words.

@kiranvarri When it's all positive self-talk and no action!

Q10. In what ways might you help a colleague or friend to change their negative self-talk?

@Mphete_Kwetli Help them to "recharge their battery" by reminding them of small wins.

@JKatzaman Change another person's, as well as your own self-talk by having conversations. Give inner voices something to think about from outside their echo chambers.

To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet collection of this chat, here.

Coming Up

Your self-talk has a big influence on how you feel and think about yourself. In our next #MTtalk we're going to discuss the habit of gratitude. In our poll this week, we'd like to know which effect of habitual gratitude you have experienced most strongly. To see the poll and cast your vote, please click here.

Resources

In the meantime, here are some resources relating to the topic we discussed this week:

Self-Mastery

Self-Sabotage

Journaling for Professional Development

The Power of Good Habits

Working With People You Don't Like

Boosting Your Self-Esteem

Developing Self-Awareness

Are You a Positive or Negative Thinker?

Cognitive Restructuring

The ABC Technique

How Self-Confident Are You?

Impostor Syndrome

How Resilient Are You?

Dealing With Anxiety

The PERMA Model

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Connecting in a Time of Isolation: Our Expert Interview With Melanie Katzman https://www.mindtools.com/blog/expert-interview-melanie-katzman/ Thu, 30 Apr 2020 10:59:04 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=21294 In this Expert Interview podcast, best-selling author Melanie Katzman explains why connecting at work matters, and shares her tips on building relationships virtually as well as face-to-face

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Human connection is so fundamental to success at work that Dr Melanie Katzman wrote a book about it. “Connect First” struck a chord, and the book quickly climbed to the number-one spot in the Wall Street Journal’s bestseller list.

This was just months before the surprise appearance of COVID-19, which has closed offices around the world and scattered close-knit team members to solitary kitchen tables and bedroom desks.

For many of us, a “great connection” is now more likely to mean a stable video link, rather than a shared water-cooler moment.

Connection in a Global Lockdown

So how much of Katzman’s advice is still relevant when we can’t meet face-to-face? Well, more than you might think.

As Katzman told me in our Expert Interview podcast, connecting “is about paying attention to your behaviors and the impact they have on other people” – and that’s true in remote communication as much as in person. 


In this clip from our Expert Interview podcast, Katzman explains how her book grew out of her work as a psychologist.

Human Sustainability

The concept of “human sustainability” lies at the heart of Katzman’s work. 

We’re sustained by other people recognizing, respecting, and including us. This gives us that all-important “reason to show up, to work hard, and to do our best.” 

The challenge, in a time of isolation, is how to convey that reinforcing energy without being physically present – and how to experience it. 

Being Seen

Let’s take one of Katzman’s tips as an example: see everybody. For Katzman, “the act of being seen is one of the greatest ways of demonstrating respect.” But, too often, people become invisible.

“Who are you not seeing?" she asks. "Are you not seeing the receptionist, who sees you every morning, or the janitor who’s cleaning your office? Are you walking into a meeting and only talking to the people that you know, or want to know, and not making an effort to introduce yourself to the people that are around you? I encourage everybody to truly look at who is around them.” 

And this is especially relevant now. After all, many of us are still meeting people every day via our computers, perhaps even more than normal. 

When I think about conference calls I’ve had recently, a few behaviors jump out that made a difference to how well participants related to one another.

Videoconferencing Tips

In a recent meeting, I opted to go audio-only, even though the other participants used their webcams. 

If I’d wanted to, I could have zoned out from the meeting and started checking emails or social media. No one knew what I was doing, which made it harder for us all to connect.

So, if possible, try to encourage everyone in a virtual meeting to turn on their cameras. It's a great way to boost engagement and foster a sense of togetherness.

Using people’s names makes a big difference, too. Not only does it add a friendly and structured note, but “it’s a neural hack,” Katzman says. “It switches people on.” 

Listening in a Remote Meeting

In one of my recent meetings, the host used our names liberally throughout. Because of this, it didn’t feel awkward or unfair when he addressed quiet participants directly, to encourage their input.

This same host was great at active listening, which is more important than ever when you’re meeting online.

He focused entirely on the person who was speaking, then checked that he’d properly understood by feeding back their point. I, for one, felt “seen” as well as “heard.”

The Right Tools, the Right Mindset

In another meeting, I felt a bit lost in a crowd of tiny blurred screens. Then I remembered that videoconferencing software comes with several ways to get noticed.

You can share your thoughts via chat, for instance. And some apps let you raise a virtual hand to make a relevant point or register a view. 

You may be sitting at home. You may even be wearing sweatpants. But you can still contribute and connect with your team, with the right tools and the right mindset.

“Sometimes the way that we have an impact is [with] the questions that we ask, or it’s the people that we bring together, or it’s what we have to share,” Katzman reflects. And none of those things depend on physical presence.

Listen to Our Interview With Melanie Katzman

Discover fascinating insights from some of the world's leading business figures with our monthly Expert Interviews.

Mind Tools Premium and Corporate members can listen to the full 30-minute interview with Melanie Katzman in the Mind Tools Club.

If you're not a Mind Tools member, you can join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to our 2,400+ resources, including 200+ Expert Interviews.

How are you staying connected with others? Are you talking to your co-workers more often now, or less? Let us know in the comments below.

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Why the Right Questions Matter: Our Expert Interview With Dean Nelson https://www.mindtools.com/blog/expert-interview-dean-nelson/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/expert-interview-dean-nelson/#comments Thu, 28 Nov 2019 08:00:26 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=19003 In this month's podcast, journalist, academic and writer Dean Nelson talks to Mind Tools about interviewing techniques. What are the secrets to a good interview? And how can you get the most out of interviewees?

The post Why the Right Questions Matter: Our Expert Interview With Dean Nelson appeared first on Mind Tools.

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In his book about interviewing, "Talk to Me," journalist Dean Nelson included a chapter toward the end titled "Check Your Ego at the Door." This useful advice was foremost in my mind when we recorded our Expert Interview podcast together.

Here I was, a journalist with more than two decades of interviews behind me, asking questions about the best way to conduct an interview. It felt a little odd. 

An opinion bubbled up inside me with every tip or anecdote shared by Nelson (a journalist himself), and I had to actively prevent myself from chiming in with my own experiences.

After all, an interview is about drawing out insight and information from the interviewee. It’s guided and purposeful. Whereas a conversation is a free-flowing, unstructured exchange.

In this clip from our Expert Interview podcast, Nelson tells us what he thinks makes a good interview, in any circumstance.

Interview vs. Conversation

As the director of the journalism program at Point Loma Nazarene University, Nelson has some thoughts on this. "I think a conversation is where you’re just spending some time together, getting to know one another or maybe just having some relational time," he says.

"An interview is more focused, where you have an outcome in mind, where you need an insight into this person’s personality to see if this is someone you want to hire, or if there’s an anecdote or a story that can illustrate a point that this person is trying to make."

But after our recording, I found myself reflecting on the distinction between a conversation and an interview. Are they really so different? They both involve questions and answers, building rapport, and listening well. And they both move forward through the gentle excavation of opinion, knowledge and ideas.

Getting It Wrong...

Sometimes, friends joke that when they first met me, I gave them a "grilling" or "the third degree." Clearly, my attempts at getting to know them landed with all the joy of a police interview. 

At the opposite extreme, I’ve been in job interviews where the prospective employers thought a casual chat would do the trick.

One memorable interview – for an editorial position – took place in a sports bar in New Jersey, my glass of water standing demurely beside my interviewers’ beer bottles on the table between us. While I proactively explained my suitability for the role, their eyes flicked up to the TV blasting out a sports game above my head.

Questions Are Key

Regardless of the environment, it’s the questions that matter in any interview or conversation. They’re the architecture that determines the shape of the live interaction, so it’s helpful to consider how they work.

When I was planning my podcast interview with Nelson, I sketched out a series of open questions. They were designed to give him jumping-off points to elaborate on his thoughts.

Analyzing these questions now, I see that most of them start with the word "what." I ask him, "What makes a good interview? What difference does our body language make?" And, of course, "What are some successful ways to frame a question? 

Answering that one, Nelson agreed that open-ended questions will elicit the best answers, especially questions beginning with "what," "why," and "how."

Using "Why" Well

But Nelson did warn that open-ended questions can be too broad.

"My father was in World War II and he was on a weather station on the Arctic Circle. He and a bunch of other soldiers were up there for a year giving hourly weather reports," Nelson relates, as an example. "If you want to absolutely paralyze him with a question, ask him what it was like being on the Arctic Circle for a year."

"He will just hem and haw and stutter. How do you answer the question, ‘What was it like?’ Well, the answer to that question is, ‘It’s not like anything!’"

If you want a better answer from his dad, Nelson continues, you need to be more focused. For instance, "What did you do for food while you were on the Arctic Circle for a year?" or, "What kind of contact did you have with the U.S. or with family while you were there?"

Good Interview Questions

This is a useful tip for conversations and interviews alike. Be specific about what you’re asking, but not limiting.

In a job interview, this might mean asking candidates, "How does this role align with your career goals?" rather than, "Does this position help with your career goals?" 

The second question needs only a "yes" or "no" answer, narrowing the path of discussion. The first question, however, invites the interviewee to elaborate from the outset. Asking better questions gives better answers.

Listen to Our Interview With Dean Nelson

Discover fascinating insights from some of the world’s leading business figures with our monthly Expert Interviews, available in text or as 30-minute audio downloads.

Mind Tools Premium and Corporate members can listen to the full 30-minute interview with Dean Nelson in the Mind Tools Club.

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What are your top interviewing tips? Join the discussion below! 

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15 Brilliant Productivity Apps https://www.mindtools.com/blog/15-brilliant-productivity-apps/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/15-brilliant-productivity-apps/#comments Thu, 31 Oct 2019 11:59:30 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=18542 These days there's an app for everything. They can range from the truly weird (like Nothing – literally a screen that shows the word "nothing" on it and does, well… absolutely nothing), to the utterly infuriating, yet fascinating (try Do Not Press The Red Button, where you seemingly have to avoid pressing a big red […]

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These days there's an app for everything. They can range from the truly weird (like Nothing – literally a screen that shows the word "nothing" on it and does, well… absolutely nothing), to the utterly infuriating, yet fascinating (try Do Not Press The Red Button, where you seemingly have to avoid pressing a big red button. Why? No reason!).

But in this blog post, we're going to look at 15 great apps that can boost your productivity and, hopefully, make your life that little bit easier!

Time and Project Management Apps

Asana

Free Basic, Premium Starting From $10.99.
Available on Web, iOS and Android.

15 Brilliant Productivity Apps - Asana
Asana

Asana is just one of the multitude of project management apps that have entered the market in recent years. But it is particularly brilliant at what it does because of the flexibility and simplicity that it offers. The vast number of features means that you can set up projects using a variety of different formats to suit your unique team needs – from simple lists and notes to more complex Kanban Boards and Calendar templates. You can even use it to set up Agile and Scrum workflows. 

It can take some time to get used to the vast range of features the app offers. But, once you do, you'll find it so much easier to track, delegate and prioritize your team's tasks and workflow, all of which can significantly reduce the time you spend on email updates, reports and meetings.  

And if all that’s not enough, the Asana developers have even been tinkering with new "hack" features to make your life even easier. For example, you can snooze your inbox for an hour, add a keyboard shortcut for your favorite feature, or try an Extra Delight – a surprise celebration when you complete a task. 

Focus@Will 

Free Basic, Premium From $69.99.
Available on Web, iOS and Android

15 Brilliant Productivity Apps - Focus@Will
Focus@Will

If you're anything like me, you've probably experienced days in the office when, no matter what you do, you just can't seem to focus. Everywhere you look there's a distraction – sales calls, loud meetings, the printer, your neighbor's terrible choice of music (yes, you can still hear it through their headphones!).

Well, worry no more about such things, because the people behind Focus@Will reckon they've cracked it. The app promises to help you to "focus, reduce distractions, maintain your productivity, and retain information" using a powerful combination of music and neuroscience. In fact, according to the app's developers, it can increase your focus time by up to 400 percent! 

It does this by giving you access to an exclusive library of instrumental music that has been edited and curated to prevent your mind from getting distracted and losing focus. You can choose from several different music channels, or take a short quiz (based on the Big Five Personality Traits Model) that automatically curates a playlist based on your personality type. 

The Premium version of the app is ad-free and also allows you to set session timers, skip tracks, and track your progress.

Rescue Time

Free Lite Version, Premium $6.99 Per Month.
Available on MacOS, Windows, Linux, iOS, Android and Chrome OS.

Want to know where all your time goes in a day? Then Rescue Time may be able to help. It works in the background on your computer, phone and tablet to show you how you spend your time. For example, how much you spend on specific apps, websites or projects. 

This can help you to optimize your time and use it more effectively. It also enables you to pinpoint the times of day when you are most productive, and identify the apps and websites that distract you the most, so that you can avoid them when necessary.  

15 Brilliant Productivity Apps - Rescue Time
Rescue Time

You can use the free Lite version of the app to track your time across sites and set goals, but the full paid version gives you access to a number of additional perks, such as a "distraction blocker" feature, real-time alerts, and offline time tracking. 

Lightdogs 

Free.
Available on iOS only. 

If you want to try something a little bit different and a little bit "off the wall" to save time, Lightdogs might just be the solution. It uses gamification to prevent you from getting distracted by your phone. 

15 Brilliant Productivity Apps - Lightdogs
Lightdogs

It works by giving you points, or "joules," for time spent off your phone, which you can then use to build up your own pack of genetically engineered superdogs – otherwise known as Lightdogs. You can use your joules to hatch new pups, evolve them into adults, and breed them to create hybrids. And there's plenty of scope, with over 100 unique specimens for you to collect. 

You can set timers for how long you want to spend away from your phone. But if you open an app before the timer is up you lose your points and have to start again. 

It's a bit of a struggle to get behind the idea of Lightdogs. It seems counterintuitive to stop yourself getting distracted by your phone, only to go back and play a game on your phone. But, ultimately, it does encourage you to spend time away from your device, which should help you to free up more time for work or relaxation.  

Team Management & Decision Making Apps

Vevox 

Free Limited Access or Premium From $83 Per Month.
Available on Web, iOS and Android.

Online voting tool Vevox allows you to create and publish live polls that participants can vote on instantly using their phones or laptops. Live polls are a great way to boost engagement in meetings and presentations, but they also provide a simple and effective way to gather instant feedback from co-workers.

15 Brilliant Productivity Apps - Vevox
Vevox

Vevox is easy to use. Users can access a Vevox session via a URL and by entering a unique session ID. You don't need the app to participate – although, if you're a regular user, it's probably a good idea to get it to save yourself some time!  

You can then vote on live polls, ask questions, participate in surveys, and give feedback. What's particularly great about the app is that people can share ideas or comments anonymously, which can encourage them to share their thoughts honestly and openly. You can then organize the feedback you receive into an insight report, which can help you to analyze responses and take more informed actions. 

15Five  

Basic From $7 Per User.
Available on Web, iPhone and Android.

Apps like 15Five aim to remove the need for practices such as annual performance reviews, and replace them with a review system that gives a fuller picture of employee performance. It's based on the 5-15 reporting system, in which reports should take just 15 minutes to write and 5 to review.  

15 Brilliant Productivity Apps - 15Five
15Five

The app collates feedback by encouraging a 360 Degree Feedback system, which allows employees and managers to give praise, flag challenges, and view progress on key objectives. All of this information is added together to provide a rounded view of an employee's quarterly performance. 

Team leaders can also use the app to plan their one-on-ones and integrate OKRs (Objectives and Key Results) into weekly check-ins. Other features include Pulse Checks, which allow you to make quick assessments of how people are feeling, and High Fives and @mentions, which allow colleagues to give praise to their peers. 

Although the app works well on desktop, functionality appears to be limited and occasionally temperamental on mobile devices. However, 15Five is very much a work in progress, with new features and better functionality to be added in the future. It's also worth noting that apps like 15Five will likely become more commonplace in forward-thinking organizations, as businesses continue to digitize their HR processes. Definitely one to watch! 

Stress Management Apps

Calm 

Free Trial, Then $12.99 Per Month.
Available on Web, iOS and Android

15 Brilliant Productivity Apps - Calm
Calm

One of the key trends in the workplace of late has been "wellness" and, in particular, mental wellness. Luckily there are plenty of apps out there designed to help improve your mental health using mindfulness and meditation.  

Calm claims to be the leading app for meditation and mindfulness, with over 50 million downloads to date. And it's true, it does stand out from the crowd – mainly because of the sheer volume of content that it offers. This includes over 100 guided meditations, a huge library of music designed to improve relaxation and focus, and a range of Sleep Stories narrated by famous actors (such as Matthew McConaughey and Stephen Fry) that supposedly improve the quality of your sleep. 

You can try the app free for 30 days on the web or for seven days on your phone. After that, though, you'll have to pay $12.99 per month. This may seem a bit pricey, but if you meditate regularly and are a fan of mindfulness, it's worth it for the wealth and variety of content that Calm has to offer. 

ThinkUp 

Free or Premium at $12.99 Per Month.
Available on iOS and Android.

15 Brilliant Productivity Apps - ThinkUp
ThinkUp

If you're not a fan of mindfulness or meditation, but you still want to improve your mental health, ThinkUp could be a great alternative. It aims to help you think more positively using affirmations. You can choose from a range of affirmations that suit you, from ones that will help you to quit smoking, to ones that are designed to boost self-esteem or relieve stress.  

Once you've chosen the affirmations that you like, you can record them in your own voice, set them to music and play them back when needed from your own playlist. You do need to speak loudly and clearly when recording your affirmations, as it can be difficult to hear your voice over the music. But, if you prefer, you can switch off the music entirely. 

Repetition is key if you want affirmations to truly work. You can set up daily reminders to listen back to your playlist at a time that suits you. 

While the app is free to download on the iPhone and Android devices, if you want to add more than three affirmations to your list, you'll need to upgrade to a Premium subscription, which costs $12.99 per month.

Communications Skills Apps

Evernote 

Free or Premium From $7.99 Per Month.
Available on Mac, Windows, Web, iOS, and Android

Evernote has been around for some time now, but it continues to be one of the most comprehensive note-taking apps on the market. It's an excellent platform to store all your notes in one place.  

15 Brilliant Productivity Apps - Evernote
Evernote

Evernote's best feature by far is its wide range of templates. Meeting notes and performance reviews, To-Do Lists, strategy and marketing plans, and even gratitude journal pages – Evernote caters to pretty much all your note-taking needs. You can also use it to capture and store other media that you want to keep, such as presentation slides, PDFs, web pages, and even handwritten notes.  

The Basic free version of the app is perfect for personal use. But, if you use it a lot you may soon find that you run out of storage space (which is limited to 60MB). If this happens you can upgrade to the Premium version for $7.99 per month, which will increase your storage allowance to 10GB. 

If you want to use Evernote within your team, you can also sign up for the Business plan, which is priced at $14.99 per user per month. This also gives you access to a whole range of collaboration tools, such as setting up team projects and workflows, and virtual bulletin boards, among others. 

Blurt 

Free Trial, Then From $14.99 Per Month.
Available on Web Only.

If writing is a key part of your role, or if you simply want to improve your writing skills, Blurt could be a useful tool. It encourages you to focus when you write – for example, by hiding your interface so that you concentrate solely on your words. But it also helps you to improve your own writing style by identifying hard-to-read sentences and suggesting edits.  

15 Brilliant Productivity Apps - Blurt
Blurt

Another great feature is Writing Sessions, which allows you to set up writing sessions based on time or word count. You can even commit yourself to weekly word counts or set up email reminders to write.

Blurt is definitely worth a look – at least for the free 15-day free trial. After that you'll need to sign up for a subscription, which starts at $14.99 per month. But if you're a dedicated writer or a budding author it could help you to keep your work on track.

Learning Skills Apps

Blinkist 

Premium at $12.99 Per Month.
Available on Desktop, Web, iOS, Android, and Kindle.

Got some dead time and don't know what to do with it? Why not fill it with a "book in blinks" – a bitesize text or audio version of a top nonfiction title that's been compressed into an easily digestible, 15-minute session.  

15 Brilliant Productivity Apps - Blinkist
Blinkist

You can choose from over 3,000 nonfiction titles, in a range of genres including science, entrepreneurship, personal development, and creativity.  

Although the current library of titles is still relatively small, 40 new titles are added every month. And the app is growing, with 11 million users already signed up! Accessibility is also easy. You can use Blinkist on your phone, your tablet, desktop, and on your Kindle.  

You can sign up for a seven-day free trial, but this only gives you access to one free title each day. If you want unlimited access, you'll need to set up a subscription, which can be paid annually ($79.99), or monthly ($12.99 per month). 

Pocket 

Free or Premium at $4.99 Per Month.
Available on Web, iOS and Android.

If you're anything like me, you probably get sent loads of links to really interesting articles that you mean to read, but somehow you just don't get around to it. Then, when you finally do have some spare time, you've forgotten the article name or lost the link. Well, fear not, because Pocket is here to help.  

15 Brilliant Productivity Apps - Pocket
Pocket

You can use it to save articles, videos and stories from any online publication, page or app. So, when you finally do get a minute to yourself, you'll have no problem finding the information you want.  

The app is available across all devices, which means you can save links on your desktop web browser and access them later from your phone or tablet. It's available for free, though there is a Premium version, which is ad-free and includes additional features such as full-text search and premium fonts. This is available for a monthly fee of $4.99, or an annual fee of $44.99. 

Creativity Apps

Simple Mind

Free and Premium Options.
Available on Web, Mac OS, Windows, iOS, and Android. 

Mind Mapping is a great way to record information, identify links between ideas and facts, and enhance creative problem-solving. So, if you're stuck for ideas or want to brainstorm some new concepts, you might like to use Simple Mind. You can use it to design your own Mind Maps all on one page, which you can share across multiple platforms, including Mac, Windows, iPhone and iPad, and Android devices. 

15 Brilliant Productivity Apps - Simple Mind
Simple Mind

The free version of the app gives you access to a range of Mind Map styles. But, if you really want to get creative, you'll probably need the full version of the app, which is priced from $6.99 on the iPhone App Store (prices vary depending on device type). The full version opens up a whole range of customizable options, and allows you to add other media to your Mind Maps, such as PDFs, images, links, and photos. 

Brainsparker 

Free, With In-App Purchases.
Available on iOS and Android

"Disrupt your thinking. Activate your imagination. Unleash your best ideas." These are the three core objectives that underpin creativity app, Brainsparker. It works by providing you with Brainsparker Cards, which act like creativity prompts to get you to start thinking about solutions to problems you might be facing.

15 Brilliant Productivity Apps - Brainsparker
Brainsparker

The app itself is a great idea, and there's a fun element of interactivity – for instance, you have to shake your device to shuffle your back of Brainsparker cards. The problem is the prompts themselves. These can sometimes be quite funny – "eat chocolate," for instance – but they're sometimes a bit too general to actually be helpful – "join the dots" or "rearrange things," for example. Occasionally, however, there are some real gems that may actually help you to think "outside the box" – "what’s not needed?" for instance, and "what if you could not fail?"  

Although the app is free, it does offer in-app purchases if you want to unlock new packs of Brainsparker cards. These include more targeted creative prompts. For example, there's a Blogger pack for budding writers, and a Positive pack, which provides 150 affirmations to help improve your frame of mind. You can also unlock creativity quotes and additional innovation cards, which cost 99 cents each.  

Which productivity apps do you use? Share your recommendations in the Comments, below!

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