change Archives - Mind Tools https://www.mindtools.com/blog/tag/change/ Essential skills for an excellent career Mon, 27 Nov 2023 16:37:44 +0000 en-GB hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.3 https://www.mindtools.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/cropped-mindtools-favicon-32x32.png change Archives - Mind Tools https://www.mindtools.com/blog/tag/change/ 32 32 Transitions https://www.mindtools.com/blog/transitions/ Thu, 19 Oct 2023 11:01:22 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/?p=38788 Some transitions are harder to face than others. The Mind Tools coaches share their experiences of going through transitions, and their tips on how to deal with change.

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What were you doing in the days leading up to December 31, 1999? Listening or partying to Prince's "1999" song, perhaps? Or maybe you were, like me, frantically withdrawing all your money from the bank, in fear of the "Year 2000 bug."

The Y2K glitch was a computer programming issue that would supposedly wreak havoc on computer systems at the turn of the millennium. The bug originated from the 1960s when, to save precious data storage space, engineers wrote the year as two-digit codes, only using the last two digits of the year instead of four digits. This eventually created a fear that when the date descended from '99 to '00, some infrastructures wouldn't be able to function. Folklore superstitions and religious omens ran rampant, adding to the paranoia and anxiety during the late 1990s. 

Some companies in the financial industry recognized the Y2K issue in the 1980s and developed strategies to prepare for the digital transition into the new millennium. Other industries were slower to decide and implement strategies. I remember the news reports with companies expressing relief once they became Y2K-ready or Y2K-compliant. 

Like many consumers, I worried about how I would access my bank funds in the new year. Unashamed, I withdrew most of my funds on New Year's Eve, just in case the ATMs weren't functioning properly during the transition. Cash is king, right? Thankfully, the Y2K glitch didn't bring the world to a standstill.

How to Face Transitions

But some changes are harder to embrace than others. I asked fellow Mind Tools coaches their advice and experiences of tacking transitions:

Transitioning in Small Bites, by Mike Barzacchini  

Mike Barzacchini
Mike Barzacchini

When going through a life or career change, the transition itself may be difficult. We may be dealing with unknowns, anxieties and insecurities. Often our minds and our emotions outpace us. We try to figure out everything at once. It may be more helpful if we think of change or transition as a big red apple. 

There's no way we can swallow that apple whole. But if we concentrate on one bite, then the next one, we may be able to find our way through the transition. I like to think of these as clarity bites. If I'm relocating to another town for a new job, I can't pack my current home, plan the move, and find a new place to live all at once! But I can begin by packing one box at a time or taking other small, meaningful actions. You may want to list the "bites" you need to take and check them off as you finish them. Try taking small "clarity bites" of your big transition apple to make a change, especially a big change, more palatable.

Transition Is About Perspective, by Yolandé Conradie 

Yolande Conradie
Yolandé Conradie 

Some gemstones are what's called "pleochroic," and in stones like emerald, tanzanite and tourmaline it can be spectacular! Pleochroism means that the gemstone has different colours when observed at different angles because of how it absorbs and reflects light at that angle. The gem is still what it was – a tanzanite or an emerald or whatever, but its positioning has changed. 

When we look at transitions, they might look a certain way from one side, but when you turn them over, shine a different light on them, or look at them from a different angle, they look different. 

I've experienced that from one side of a transition, it looks one way. Once you've started the process, it looks different. When you're on the other side of the transition it shows you the gem in a way that you couldn't have seen from the first perspective: the lessons, the opportunities, the possibilities – all through the lens of the experience of the journey. 

In the process of being taken from the earth to gracing a beautiful piece of jewelry, the appearance of the gemstone is transformed – and the process renders it more valuable than what it was before.

May all our transitions unearth our potential, polish us and make us shine in a way we never thought possible.

Transitions Are a Time to Grieve, by Midgie Thompson 

For me, transitions are changes in one’s life, be that jobs, relationships (in all forms) or activities. They might be voluntary or they might be imposed. Regardless of what type they are and how much control I have over the change, there's still an adjustment period just like the process of grieving any loss. 

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I have experienced many transitions in my life. Many I have chosen, including moving cities (and even countries!), leaving relationships and changing hobbies. But there have been other transitions that have been "imposed" upon me too, such as when someone has broken up with me (as we were living together), friends who've moved away and even, dare I say, menopause. 

Yet in all the transitions, I recognize there is a "grieving period," a sense of loss and sadness. Just recently I had the experience of seeing an old friend from Canada for a few hours while we were coincidentally in the same country. It was great to spend time together after all these years, yet I was left with great sadness. It was a bittersweetness related to enjoying the connection we felt, and still feel, coupled with not having those opportunities as regularly as we might like.

I know that we all change, move onward and go in different directions, yet there is still that sense of loss. Loss of what is familiar and cherished, loss of being part of a valued community, and loss of that "ease" of routine, even. Yet with each loss, there is also the opportunity for new, better or even bigger things to come into your life... new growth, new learning, new adventures!

Navigating Transitions for Success, by Sarah Harvey 

Sarah Harvey, smiling and pink haired
Sarah Harvey

Whether at work or in life, dealing with transitions requires not only adaptability, but also resilience and a proactive approach. But we are all unique, and that means every transition is unique too. It's therefore important to develop our own individual strategies to fit our specific situations and personal needs.  

Some strategies to help navigate transitions successfully include: 

  1. Developing a Positive Mindset

Although transition away from what we know and toward something new can be unsettling, try to cultivate a positive outlook toward change. Focus on the opportunities and growth that may come with the transition, rather than dwelling on potential negatives. 

  1. Seeking Support and Guidance 

Lean on your support network of friends, family or colleagues. Discuss your concerns and seek advice from those who have experienced similar transitions. 

  1. Upgrading Your Skills and Knowledge

Use the transition as an opportunity to enhance your skill set or knowledge base. Take courses, attend workshops, or engage in professional development. 

  1. Communicating Effectively 

Open and honest communication with colleagues, managers or family members is essential. Ensure that everyone involved is well-informed and on the same page regarding the transition. 

  1.  Reflecting, Learning and Celebrating! 

After the transition, take time to reflect on the experience. Understand what worked well for you and what didn't, and apply these insights to future transitions. And finally, don’t forget to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements and milestones during and after the transition. Recognizing your progress will boost your self-esteem and motivation. 

Transitions Resources

You may like to take a look at the following Mind Tools resources. Then join the coaches' events to share your thoughts, ask questions and learn more. 

Transitions (Expert Interview) 
Bridges' Transition Model
Coping With Change
How to Master Life Transitions


Sonia Harris, blog author

About the Author:

Sonia is an experienced meeting and events manager, with over 20 years experience in conferences, exhibits, and corporate social events. She also owns a visual branding company. Sonia joined the Mind Tools coaching team in 2021, and enjoys connecting people with resources to help them reach their goals. In her spare time, she is a photo enthusiast, who reviews products, completes store scavenger hunts, and explores nail art/design.

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How to Make Good on Bad Habits https://www.mindtools.com/blog/how-to-make-good-on-bad-habits/ Thu, 14 Sep 2023 09:43:47 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/?p=38403 Changing your habits can actually make you a different, better version of yourself.

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Everyone has habits, good and bad. They're the routine actions that we all perform every day. They can be as simple as brushing your teeth in the morning, or as complex as keeping a journal.

My habits? Mostly bad, apparently. I procrastinate, mutter under my breath, and overthink decisions. Any decisions. I have this all on excellent authority. She's been taking notes for three decades.

The thing is, I don't think about my habits much, unless they're spotlighted. When I do, I just consider them part of being me, essential components of my identity. However irritating they might be to others.

But what if I could change the bad habits, even the ones that seem ingrained and permanent? What if I could replace them with better ones, maybe even making myself a better person?

It's an enticing prospect. And James Clear shows how you can do it, in his book "Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones."

The Structure of Atoms

The book's title plays on two senses of the word atomic. One, atoms are really tiny. So are the initial changes you can make to your habits. Two, when atoms all do the same thing at the same time, you get atomic power. And the incremental effect of lots of tiny changes to your habits can be – or feel – equally huge.

How to Make Good on Bad Habits - cover of James Clear book "Atomic Habits" is shown, gold lettering on a cream background.

For Clear, all habits share a clearly defined structure. It's in four parts: cue, craving, response, and reward. The cue triggers a craving, which motivates a response, which provides a reward, which satisfies the craving. Over time, the reward becomes associated with the cue.

So the cue might be the smell of coffee, or just entering the kitchen at the same time every morning. You feel you really need a coffee. That's the craving.

So you make one. That's the response. You get your coffee. And that's your reward. And because you enjoy it, you'll probably go through the whole process again tomorrow morning.

Breaking Bad Habits With the Four Laws

The book develops the four-part structure into four laws for habit change. If you want to develop a good habit, make the cue obvious. Then, make the new habit attractive, to develop a craving. Third, make the response something you can do easily. Finally, make your new habit satisfying, so that you'll repeat it.

Want to break a bad habit? Hide the cue. Make the habit unattractive to you. Make the response difficult, and the outcome unsatisfying. Easier said than done, you might think. But "Atomic Habits" talks you through how you can do it.

The Sky's the Limit?

And the results? Let's consider habits you can measure easily. If you look at making a one percent improvement in what you're doing daily, then after a year, you'll be 37 times better at it. That's the math. Of course, 37 times improvement on a bad starting point can still represent modest results.

There has to be a ceiling, too. I'm not going to get that Olympic track cycling gold, ever. But I might be able to spend enough time on the exercise bike to do myself some real good, and not end up a wheezing wreck.

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Forget About Goals

The book makes some bold claims in other directions, too. Setting goals is a waste of time, for example. At least, it is if you don't have the processes in place to achieve them. And even reaching a goal can be unsatisfying, because you feel you have to set another one.

True happiness, the book argues, comes from having robust systems for personal improvement, not reaching milestones. Whether you agree with that or not, it's food for thought.

All Change for a Better You

And the ultimate goal of these systems? Identity change. That's right. It's that fundamental. Changing your habits can actually make you a different, better version of yourself. That's quite a challenging thought. But the book's nothing if not a practical manual, and Clear's tone throughout is brisk and can-do.

I went on the exercise bike yesterday, for the first time in a while. I repeated the effort today and went a tiny bit further. No, I won't be entering the Tour de France anytime soon, and I don't know whether I'll become a different person. But I do feel I've got a plan to feel a bit fitter. And that's got to be progress.

Listen to Our "Atomic Habits" Book Insight

We review the best new business books and the tested classics in our monthly Book Insights, available as text or as 15-minute audio recordings.

So, if you're a Mind Tools Club member or corporate user, listen to the "Atomic Habits" Book Insight now!

If you haven't already signed up, join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to our 2,400+ resources, including 390+ Book Insights. For corporate licensing, ask for a demo with one of our team.


Blog author, Simon Bell.

About the Author:

Content Editor/Writer Simon Bell knows how to explain things as simply as possible. He spent 20 years in educational publishing, before working on the popular "For Dummies" books. At Mind Tools, he's particularly proud of the Skillbook he wrote about managing stress, and his article on Porter's Five Forces – one of our most popular resources. He also helps to produce the influential reports created by our in-house Impact and Insights team. Simon enjoys learning about history, and sharing new music with his sons. And his favorite advice is about balancing work and life: "Know when you've done enough at work – then go home!"

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Does a Four-Day Workweek Work? https://www.mindtools.com/blog/does-a-four-day-workweek-work/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/does-a-four-day-workweek-work/#comments Wed, 20 Jul 2022 11:01:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=32236 ""People would be more focused and strategic during their working week, to make sure that they got everything done to a high standard, in less time." - Jonathan Hancock

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I'm sitting here in the middle of a heatwave in Britain. And I can't help but look out of the window and think, "Oh I wish I could make the most out of this sun." It's probably a thought that many of us have had over these past few weeks. So what's stopping us?

Well, it's a Friday for one. So instead of slapping on sunscreen and sipping my Pimm's in a sunny beer garden, I'm chained to my laptop. Just praying that my cooling fan doesn't run up my energy bill too much this month!

But what if we weren't constrained to the traditional Monday to Friday grind? What if we had the option of extending our weekends and making the most out of sunny days like these? What if... we had a four-day workweek? And still got paid the same?

Four-Day Workweek on Trial

And it's no daydream, either. In June this year, the nonprofit organization, "4 Day Week Global" launched a six-month pilot program trialing a four-day workweek.

The hope is that organizations can use this study, based on more than 3,300 workers at 70 British companies, to build a business case around reducing workdays. Crucially, while still maintaining their employees' current salaries.

As the trial continues, and employees across the country anxiously await the results, we asked the Mind Tools team their views on the subject. It sparked a keen debate around the virtual office. Here's what our team had to say:

Four-Day Workweek: The Pros

Since the pandemic, we've already seen a huge shift in the way people work, with many organizations adopting a hybrid working model. So what benefits do MT managers see in taking the next step, to a four-day workweek?

Head of Acquisition, Claire Minnis, said, "It fits in more with modern life. We don't live or work the same way as we used to, so why not change things?"

Head of Product, Kirsten Wilson agreed, highlighting the role technology plays in the way we work. She said, "Improved technologies mean that a five-day week seems unrelated to the needs of the modern workforce."

One of the obvious upsides of a four-day workweek is increased free time, time that people can spend doing what they value most. The resulting boost in people's overall wellbeing helps to create a happier workforce. Unlocking all the benefits that spring from that.

MT editor and writer, Jonathan Hancock is on board. He said, "I like the idea of having longer weekends. I think it would help people to relax more fully, spend more time with family and friends. They could travel further or even just spread their chores over three days rather than two!"

Gain a More Focused, More Productive Workforce

The opportunity to really get a mental break was another benefit of the four-day workweek for campaign marketing manager Abi Radford.

She said, "Employees could spend more time relaxing at weekends, with the ability to actually switch off from work before Monday comes round again."

"OK, what's in it for us?", say employers. MT's client experience manager Austin Wolf thinks giving people more time to recharge would improve organizational success. He said, "It would lead to a greater work-life balance, as well as higher productivity during the four days of work."

Why? Well, Jonathan Hancock offered, "People would be more focused and strategic during their working week. They would make sure they got everything done to a high standard, in less time."

Four-Day Workweek: The Cons

Although there are many benefits to a four-day week, any change to working patterns comes with a fair number of challenges. Not least of all keeping it cost-effective.

A lot of organizations panic at the idea of a four-day workweek, fearing they'll be less profitable with the loss of working hours. They, not unreasonably, reason that they may have to find ways to cut costs. Maybe reducing office space or closing the office on days when most employees are off.

But it's not just the loss of potential profits that is cause for concern. Some Mind Tools employees were uneasy about a lack of alignment when working with others.

Client experience partner Lee Murphy said, "It limits availability for working with clients and colleagues," while account director Gillian Reid added, "Not being aligned to the majority could cause major disruption to workflow and hamper getting projects over the line. "

Claire Minnis raised logistical questions that organizations would have to solve ahead of making these changes. She said, "Which day do you decide to have off? Do you all have the same one off? Can it be flexible in regards to which day is taken?"

But product manager Sean Brown believed the four-day workweek could work, as long as organizations are flexible. He said, "Our clients or consumers may not be on a four-day week so we need to ensure that we can still cover client/consumer needs."

Time for Change, for Some

Another major concern that surfaced was a lack of time to do the job. People and culture business partner Emily Moore said, "Everyone already says they are so busy, so how could we do what we do in four days?"

While Abi Radford said, "There's the danger that we keep the same workloads and amount of meetings and just squish them into four days, which could result in working excessive hours."

As far as Jonathan Hancock was concerned, where there's a problem, there's a solution. But while challenges can be overcome with a will and a creative approach, the four-day workweek would not work for everyone.

He said, "Any organization could make it work, by being clever about staffing patterns. They'd have to show creativity in recruitment and consult closely with their staff. But not all will decide that it's right for them. And many may be better off exploring different types of flexible working."

Are you for or against a four-day workweek? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Good Character in Business: My Interview With Fred Kiel https://www.mindtools.com/blog/putting-a-price-on-character/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/putting-a-price-on-character/#comments Thu, 26 May 2022 12:00:00 +0000 http://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=5383 "Leaders of good character keep their promises... and treat you as a human being and not as an object."

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We see the correlation between individual character and group culture all around us. But can the character of business leaders affect financial results?

The book, "Return on Character," says it can. And its author, the academic and consultant Fred Kiel, has found a way to calculate the impact of a leader’s character on the financial performance of their company. His research team carried out a seven-year study into this topic and the results are fascinating.

Everyday Character at Work

Imagine... You sense a warm, positive buzz in a certain café, where the baristas are relaxed, good humored, and attentive. Then you meet the manager and – surprise! – she exudes a warm, friendly calm. She involves her team in decision making and she respects their skills and experience. Meanwhile, in the store next door, resentful employees listlessly stack shelves, under the steely eye of their grumpy boss.

But is this just about personalities? When I met Kiel to record my Mind Tools Expert Interview podcast, I began with the basics. What does a leader of good character look like?

Members of the Mind Tools Club can hear the full interview. If you're not already signed up, read on here for a taster...

What Is Good Character?

FredKiel_250x250
Researcher and consultant, Fred Kiel

Fred Kiel asserts that a leader of good character tells the truth. Further, "They keep their promises. They stand up for what’s right, and then they have a certain humility about them, where they own up to their own mistakes and accept the consequences.

"They tend to look first at what they did wrong, rather than what other people did wrong, and when other people make mistakes they tend to be curious rather than blaming and shaming. And then they treat you as a human being and not as an object."

In his groundbreaking study, Kiel set out to put a hard value on those admirable traits. The first step was to ask the 84 CEOs participating in the study to rate themselves against four defining characteristics: integrity, compassion, forgiveness, and responsibility. Then their employees were asked to rate these leaders against the same characteristics, to provide objectivity and perspective.

Character Study

From this data, the CEOs were given scores relating to their leadership behavior. The most highly principled leaders were labeled "virtuoso CEOs," while those at the other end of the spectrum were called "self-focused CEOs."

The research team then cross-referenced these character scores with the financial results of the leaders’ companies. It discovered that the virtuoso CEOs achieved nearly five times greater return on assets than their low-ranking counterparts.

An Invitation to Change

It’s a remarkable finding, but what can we do with this information, given that leopards don’t change their spots? Once a self-focused CEO, always a self-focused CEO, right? Wrong, says Kiel. It may not be easy, but leaders can move from one end of the spectrum to the other.

In "Return on Character," Kiel outlines this process of personal change. He sees it as a six-part journey, starting with "invitations to change." As an example of this step, he talks about a young executive who effortlessly rose through the ranks of a company and assumed he was next in line to be named president of a major business unit.

"His invitation for change, or wake-up call, came when the CEO invited him into his office. He came in expecting to get the good news and instead he was told, ‘I’m sorry, but I’m not giving you this job. I’m giving it to your peer instead.’ And that was a very traumatic event for him because he’d never had a failure experience to deal with before. So that became a real invitation for him to change."

The other five steps to becoming a virtuoso leader require just as much humility and self-awareness, with the final one, "rewire your brain," designed to cement new good habits through focus and practice.

Completing all six steps in this process is a major undertaking, but no doubt worth it, on a personal and organizational level, for under-performing leaders.

What about those leaders who don’t need, or want, to undergo large-scale personal change, but would still like to maximize their return on character? Kiel offers some useful tips in this audio clip from our Expert Interview podcast.

Listen to the full Expert Interview in the Mind Tools Club, or get a license for your organization through Mind Tools for Business.

So, Does Honesty Pay?

"Return on Character" is an absorbing read that shows leadership behavior can be linked to business results. Senior executives may well benefit from taking these ideas on board. But even if we’re not in charge of our company’s financial performance, we can still learn from the basic principle: it pays, literally, to be honest, compassionate and responsible.

What would you do to improve return on character, for yourself or your organization? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

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How to Turn Negative Thoughts Into Positive Actions https://www.mindtools.com/blog/how-to-turn-negative-thoughts-into-positive-actions/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/how-to-turn-negative-thoughts-into-positive-actions/#comments Wed, 07 Jul 2021 11:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=27057 What can we learn from the recently deceased "Father of CBT" Dr Aaron Beck? Identifying 10 types of distorted thinking.

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We've been through the wringer this past year and it's fair to assume that we've all had some dark moments. As an introvert, I have a running monolog in my head all day, constantly analyzing situations and other people’s words and actions.

I have to manage the floodgates, to stop negative thoughts ruling my day. Some days, it's exhausting. I'm still learning as I go.

I've struggled with negative thoughts my whole life. Sometimes I've looked enviously at other people who didn't seem to struggle at all.

However, it turns out that little voice in our heads is completely natural, whether you're an introvert or not. Some people have just learned to manage it.

Quiet the Negative Inner Voice

When our brain senses imminent danger, it triggers the release of stress hormones. Adrenalin and Cortisol help keep us safe in an emergency, but we're not running from saber-toothed tigers anymore, and too much of these powerful chemicals can make us ill.

Don't get me wrong, at times this little negative voice can actually be good, "No, I should not eat that entire packet of biscuits and call it breakfast."

That little voice can also keep us motivated toward goals. But, sometimes it says things like, "I'd never be able to do that," or "It's so obvious they all hate me."

Coping Under Negative Pressure

I remember my first time project-managing a huge and complicated web build for a client. I was out of my comfort zone, and every little hurdle triggered, "I'm really screwing this up" thoughts.

Those thoughts knocked my confidence and put me off my game, almost becoming an evil self-fulfilling prophecy. At times, I felt utterly paralyzed by them.

On the last day, once everything had gone live, our account director Neil called me into his office. My heart was in my throat, I was physically shaking as I sat down.

I was certain that he was about to confirm how I'd let everyone down. Just like I'd been telling myself all these weeks. Instead, he told me what an incredible job I'd done and how well I'd coped under all the pressure. He even apologized for not helping more.

Are Negative Thoughts Impacting Every Area of Your Life?

Perhaps those negative thoughts are always there, perhaps they come and go. Sometimes they're a day-ruiner. Sometimes, when they get out of control, you begin to realize that they're a life-ruiner.

Negative thoughts will fester and stop you going for promotions, jobs, friendships, relationships, adventures, and opportunities. They can stunt personal growth, cause us to make bad decisions, and drive us to become the worst versions of ourselves.

They can warp our perception of experiences and even cause us physical and mental damage, feeding mood and anxiety disorders.

I don't know about you, but the worse I feel, the less likely I am to take positive action. I sink into a pit. My sister Laura is a psychotherapist and told me to start writing down every single negative thought I had, as soon as I had them. After a couple of days, I was horrified. It felt like I had no control over my brain; like I was poisoning myself.

Getting to Know Your Inner Chimp

When talking with my friend Ellen about writing this blog, she told me that her negative thoughts have increased in strength and frequency since the start of the pandemic. That's understandable – we've all been working from home, with our personal spaces functioning as workspaces. We've felt bored, isolated, lonely and sluggish. All of which increase stress, anxiety and negative thought patterns.

It was Professor Steve Peters who coined the "Chimp" concept. We all have a Chimp, a part of our subconscious, with us since birth. It told us when to cry for attention. Now it tells us when to get angry at drivers who don't indicate.

It stored our emotional memories and tries to help us avoid emotional pain. The Chimp has its hand hovering above the big red button of anxiety, ready and waiting with a catalog of negative thoughts.

And because it pre-dates the development of our logical minds, the Chimp has cemented beliefs into our internal computers. They can take us over before our logical minds can reassure us that spending a whole afternoon watching Netflix does not mean we will never amount to anything.

Negative Thoughts Can Take Many Forms

The thing about negative thoughts is that they don't usually reflect reality. In the 1960s, U.S. psychiatrist Aaron Beck recognized specific patterns to negative thinking, which he called "Cognitive Distortions" or "Distorted Thinking."

They're common, entirely normal, and not our fault. Beck's pioneering research formed a central part of his cognitive theory of depression and, later, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

Since then, researchers have developed his ideas and identified at least 10 common distorted thinking patterns. Below are some examples from my own life – how many sound familiar?

1. Polarized Thinking

When I was in high school and thought, "If I don't get straight As, I've essentially failed."

2. Overgeneralization

When I went through break-ups and told myself, "This always happens, I'll never find anyone," or when I burn the fishfingers and think, "Why does nothing ever go right?"

3. Mental Filtering

When I was a year into having started my own business and filtered out the fact that I'd managed to achieve that, had wonderful clients, great friends, and a supportive partner. I was only focusing on why I wasn't yet making £x p/a.

4. Discounting the Positive

When I was in a slump last Tuesday and caught myself saying, "Yes, I might be a decent copywriter, but anybody can learn how to do that."

5. Mindreading

When my partner introduced me to his friends and I spent the entire journey home thinking, "They all hate me, I told that stupid story and now they all think I'm boring." A couple of hours later he showed me their group chat, where everyone had been singing my praises.

6. Catastrophizing

The time a client of mine hired a full-time writer and I lost their business and automatically assumed, "I'm going to lose all my other clients, then I'll have to move out and live in my parents' shed."

7. Emotional Reasoning

The time my ex-manager, Steph, suggested I go for a copywriting position, and I thought, "I'm so worthless, there's no point in even trying – I'd never get the job anyway." Spoiler: I got the job.

8. "Should" Statements

When I'm rigid with my ideas about how I should and shouldn't be spending my free time, "I should be getting up early to start every morning with yoga." I then feel anxious and blame myself when I'm too tired to manage it.

9. Labeling

The time I assumed that my ex-colleague Lara was a horrible person because she was a bit "short" with me when we first met. Spoiler: she was just having a nightmare Monday and we became really good friends.

10. Personalization and Blame

When my ex-boss Jo used to look annoyed and I'd instantly shrink into myself and think, "I must have done something wrong, I can't do anything right."

NOTE: If you're constantly experiencing negative thoughts, it's important to seek advice from a mental health professional. People suffering from depression and anxiety often experience destructive thoughts, that can become incessant and painful.

12 Tips to Turn Those Negative Thoughts Into Positive Actions

It was only when I was first getting to know my partner Leo, and he said, "It feels really great to be around a positive person all the time," that it hit home. My efforts had turned into habits.

Over time, due to the process of neuroplasticity, habitual negative thinking patterns wear such a path that they become physical neural traits in your brain. Scientists say that our brains are always looking to make habits because they're always looking for ways to save effort.

But a habit cannot be eradicated; only replaced. You have to go back to the very beginning of the stimulus/response cycle and replace the current response with a different one.

How many times have you listed all the positive steps you're going to take, then not acted on them? That's because the longer you think about doing something, the less likely you are to do it. Negative thoughts will talk you out of it.

Don't make negative thinking a lifelong habit. Here are some tips for getting your brain and mind to work with you. Your actions will prompt more positive thinking too!

1. Start a Journal

Acknowledge negative thoughts, don't try to push them away. You want them resolved, not buried like seeds, ready to rear their ugly heads again. Every day, I record every negative or positive thought, where it happened, why it happened, and who it happened with. It helps me identify triggers and turn negative thoughts around next time.

2. Always Ask Yourself, "What Would I Say to a Friend?"

We tend to find it easier to be kinder to others than ourselves. There's a simple exercise developed to aid children in reframing cognitive distortions, teaching them to recognize "BLUE" thoughts – Blaming myself; Looking for the bad news; Unhappy guessing; and being Exaggeratedly negative.

It also works for adults. Turn those "BLUE" thoughts into true thoughts by imagining that your friend has this problem. You'd probably reassure them. What advice would you give?

3. Say "Stop"

Becoming aware of your Chimp and its patterns takes time. When you spot it, say "Stop," out loud, and tell the Chimp how to behave.

4. Change Negativity to Neutrality

It's a lot easier to turn down negativity than switch it off. Ask yourself, "Is this thought helping or hindering me in my journey to become my best self?" If it's hindering, be gentler with your language. For example, change, "This is impossible," to "Let's try a different approach." Interestingly, when you do this, your brain will come up with answers to your questions.

5. Create an SOS File of Positive Praise

I compile positive emails and comments from clients and friends, to dig out when I'm feeling insecure. Some days it's a lifesaver. I'm always pleasantly surprised at how quickly I bounce back.

6. Breathe

In the words of Mr Miyagi, "When you feel life is out of focus, always return to the basic of life. Breathing. No breath, no life." Every day, I use the 4-7-8 breathing technique that NAVY Seals use. You can do it throughout the day for maintenance, or as an SOS. It'll quickly get you into a calmer state, where you can be more rational.

7. Talk to Somebody

Whether it's a therapist, close friend, or colleague, with an understanding of the exact boat you are in. As long as it's someone supportive, who will identify the positives, and put any negative thoughts into perspective.

8. Follow a Healthy Lifestyle

I do three 10-minute workouts daily. Exercise positively affects mood and reduces stress. I'm also thankful that my dog Colin gets me outside. More oxygen to the brain improves concentration and memory. Exercise can also lower blood pressure and releases chemicals in the brain that help you feel happier and more relaxed.

9. Identify Areas to Change

Which areas of your life do you most often think negatively about? Perhaps it's work, a relationship, your downtime. Start by focusing on one small area and on how you can approach that in a more positive way.

10. Surround Yourself With Positive People

Negative people will likely increase your stress levels, make you doubt your abilities, and make it harder to manage negative thinking in healthy ways. Instead, seek supportive people who you can depend on to give grounded advice and feedback.

11. Practice Self-Compassion

It's taken me years, but it's never too late to begin. Tara Cousineau's 2017 book, The Kindness Cure points out that self-criticism just makes you feel stuck. But, she says, replacing disapproval and self-judgment with self-compassion allows you to accept in a gentle way that you are flawed – strengthening your mental wellness.

12. Practice Positive Self-Talk Out Loud

Use your name, not "I." Creating emotional distance in our self-talk can help to calm us down, see things more clearly, and think more rationally, according to University of Michigan psychologist Ethan Kross.

"Stop," Breathe and Be Kind to Yourself

A few weeks ago, I was so tired by the end of Friday that almost all my weekend plans quickly flew out the window. I saw a friend for breakfast the next day, but there was not a lot of anything else. By Sunday night, my brain was awash with negative thoughts, "I've wasted the whole weekend."

So, I told myself out loud to, "Stop." I practiced some 4-7-8 breathing and thought about what I'd say to my friend Sarah if she were in this position.

I could feel my heart rate slow back down to normal as I began to reframe negative thoughts into more caring ones, "It's OK, you needed the rest. Perhaps you worked a bit too hard? Let's think about how you can practice some more self-care." I felt calmer, lighter, and more clear-headed.

Positive Impact of Positive Change

It was a bit of a wake-up call. Now, I'm stricter about when my working days end, and I don't feel so burned out by the weekend.

I've stopped skipping lunches on busy days and started eating healthier food. I feel more creative and confident at work and have the energy to exercise daily and use my free time in a reinvigorating way.

Take it from me – and countless scientists and therapists – changing how you behave will help you to change how you feel. Changing your thoughts will physically alter your brain over time.

Realistic thinking will eventually become second nature, as your brain starts to view you and your talents fairly. Maintain positive actions, and you'll soon notice your confidence increase – along with your achievements and opportunities.

Recommended Reading

For further insight into this topic, see our expert interview blog, Find Happiness: Turn Off the Negative Self-Talk.

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Three Reasons Answers Are More Important Than Questions https://www.mindtools.com/blog/three-reasons-answers-are-more-important-than-questions/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/three-reasons-answers-are-more-important-than-questions/#comments Thu, 17 Jun 2021 11:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=26788 Every question starts as an imperfect answer that stimulates curiosity in the world

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In grade school, you learned about the six "WH" questions (why, what, when, where, who, how). You did not learn about a parallel list of answer types.

I've picked out three quotes for this piece that I consider to be representative of society's thought leaders. These luminaries, too, are focused upon questions, not answers:

"Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers," from philosopher Voltaire; "We thought that we had the answers, it was the questions we had wrong," from U2's Bono; and, "If I had an hour to solve a problem, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask," from scientist Albert Einstein.

The professor stresses the research question, not the research answer. On Amazon, business books with question in the title outnumber books with answer in the title three to one. The imbalance is real. We are all focused upon questions, not answers.

My new book, "Answer Intelligence: Raise Your AQ," is a direct response to the lack of awareness and critical examination that has been paid to answers.

By studying expert communicators, I identified six answer types (story, metaphor, theory, concept, procedure, action) that can be provided to important questions.

The most important thing I learned in researching my book is that answers are more important than questions, both in business and in life.

I will be the first to admit that I value both questions and answers. Choosing between them is like choosing between your children. But, if I'm pressed to choose a side, I would argue that answers are the first among equals.

Here are three reasons why answers are more important than questions:

1. Answers come before questions.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Those in the know will point out that the egg came before the chicken. Two birds that were not chickens mated and created the first "chicken egg." Hence, the egg came first.

Which comes first, a question or answer? Counterintuitively, I would argue that an answer always precedes a question. Before the explorers set sail for the New World, they questioned the prevailing answer at the time – that the world was flat.

In my book, the point that answers occur before questions is illustrated in the sales context. During cold calls, the goal of the sales rep is to get a first appointment with a prospect on the phone.

An analysis of 500,000+ cold calls from Gong revealed that the most effective way to win an appointment during a cold call was for the sales rep to provide a story or metaphor (or another answer, in AQ terms). That response tended to stimulate a question in the prospect. It's this question that becomes the reason they agree to the next sales call.

2. Answers are for influence.

As a consultant, I was hired because I could provide answers. Specifically, I would work with clients that had the questions figured out. For example, one client had employee-turnover problems, and they would ask me, "Why is turnover occurring?"

I was hired as a social scientist because of my knowledge of turnover theory. In other words, I was hired for my answers, not my questions.

More generally, answers are for influence. Story and metaphor provide emotional impact. Theory and concept explain and predict. Procedure and action achieve results.

3. Answers are more difficult than questions.

It's easy to come up with important why, what, and how questions for any topic. For a job interview, say, these questions could be: "What is your number one soft skill?", "Why should I hire you?", "How well do you work with others?"

Or, in a sales meeting: "What is your product?", "Why should I buy from you?", "How does your product work?" The difficult part is answering these questions.

In an interview context, each job candidate should be able to provide all six AQ answers for their number one soft skill. However, in working with college students entering the job market, I've found that 40 percent cannot identify a metaphor for their top soft skill.

If leadership is your number one soft skill, you should be able to define it. For example, leadership as a concept can be defined as holding people accountable and inspiring them to be their better selves. And, as a metaphor, leadership is a braided rope. Two ropes are strong separately, but made stronger when they're braided together. Accordingly, leaders who simultaneously hold people accountable and inspire them are more effective.

Question Yourself

When I prepare for a sales call, a client workshop, my next podcast, or any important conversation, I still anticipate the questions that are going to be asked, and try to ask thoughtful questions myself.

But, after my research, I now pay much more attention to the answers that are exchanged in a conversation.

First, I realize that every question starts as an imperfect answer that stimulates curiosity in the world. By reflecting upon answers, I gain an appreciation for the reasons why others ask questions. And when I reflect upon answers, I ask better questions myself.

Second, I focus upon answers because I want to meet the curiosity of questions with the equal force of answers – to influence and inspire meaningful change in others.

Finally, I focus upon answers because they are the more difficult aspect of the communication equation.

I will leave you with one final thought. The title of my book, and the accompanying website, reflects that answers, not questions, are underappreciated and a deserving focus of critical examination.

My hope is that my book will bring back into balance the yin and yang of communication. In that spirit, AQ has a hidden, secondary meaning. It also stands for "Answers + Questions."

Answers first, because they're an exciting new focus. And I want to encourage you to think about answers first, in a question-first world.

Buy the Book, Download the Review

Want to hear more about Dr Glibkowski's Answer Intelligence framework? Buy his ebook from the Mind Tools store now!

Mind Tools reviews the best new business books and the tested classics in its monthly Book Insight for the Mind Tools Club. So, if you’re a Club member or enterprise licensee, you can download or stream the "Answer Intelligence" Book Insight in text or audio format.

If you haven’t already signed up, join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to all 2,400+ resources, including approximately 400 Book Insights. For a corporate solution, take a look at our Mind Tools for Business site.

Your Answers, Please

Is the world too focused on questions? Do we pay enough attention to the answers we hear and give? How do you try to give good answers? Join the discussion, below.

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Inspirational Women – Celebrating Champions of Change for International Women’s Day 2021 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/female-role-models-international-womens-day/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/female-role-models-international-womens-day/#comments Fri, 05 Mar 2021 11:30:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=25366 Which women do you look up to? Are they successful entrepreneurs, talented performers, or historic activists? International Women's Day is an opportunity to celebrate the women who have shaped the world. It also highlights inequalities that persist to this day. In honor of this year's theme #Choosetochallenge, we asked our colleagues at Mind Tools which […]

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Which women do you look up to? Are they successful entrepreneurs, talented performers, or historic activists?

International Women's Day is an opportunity to celebrate the women who have shaped the world. It also highlights inequalities that persist to this day.

In honor of this year's theme #Choosetochallenge, we asked our colleagues at Mind Tools which female challengers they look up to, and what we can learn from them.

What Can We Learn From Influential Women?

Maintaining Composure

Michelle Obama

Michelle Obama is best known for her role as first lady of the United States. But her career has spanned decades. And it's involved everything from studying at Harvard Law School to campaigning for equal rights and opportunities for minorities.

Product Manager, Carrie Horvath believes Michelle Obama is a great role model. Carrie says, "she always rises above any politics, remains calm and collected, and leads by example."

Greta Thunberg

Greta Thunberg has already caused quite the stir, aged just 18. Thunberg transformed a one-person protest outside the Swedish Parliament into a global environmental movement. And she did it armed with only a cardboard sign and her own grit. She even addressed the 2018 United Nations Climate Change Conference when she was just 16 years old.

For Editor, Matthew Hughes, Thunberg's stoicism has long been a source of inspiration: "Her resolve in the face of aggressive critics, and how she's dealt with the pressure of becoming a symbol of the fight against climate change at such a young age – I can't help but marvel."

Defying Expectations

Susie Wolff

Susie Wolff has spent her career breaking up "boys clubs." She was the first woman in 22 years to join a Formula One race weekend. After her retirement, she co-founded "Dare to Be Different," a non-profit organization that helps women to pursue careers in motorsport.

Customer Retention Executive, Jaye O'Farrell-Stevens looks up to Wolff not just for her sporting achievements. "Despite the odds, she has continued to climb the ladder, secure senior roles, and achieve record successes. And all while helping to change the status quo."

Dr Maggie Aderin-Pocock

Dr Maggie Aderin-Pocock is no stranger to adversity. She's a woman of color working in space science. And she's dyslexic. But through it all, her childhood passion for space has persevered.

Aderin-Pocock’s unwavering positivity has been an inspiration to many. They include Senior Editor, Charlie Swift. "I challenge anyone not to feel happy and inspired after even a brief dose of her energy, enthusiasm, expertise – and passion for life!"

Redefining Women's Work

Chrissie Wellington

There aren't many with as rich and varied a career as Chrissie Wellington. She negotiated on the political world stage for clean water and sustainable development. Then she travelled to Nepal to work in an orphanage. And when she returned to the U.K., she made a name for herself as a successful triathlete.

"She was probably the U.K.'s greatest unsung athlete for years, winning the Ironman World Championships in 2007, 2008, 2009, and 2011" says Senior Editor and fellow Ironman enthusiast, Keith Jackson.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (or "AOC," as she's known) has been a changemaker from the start. She is the youngest woman to serve in the U.S. Congress. And she won political office in 2018 while working at a local taco restaurant in New York.

Marketing Executive, Natalie Benfell admires AOC's work ethic and drive: "She's passionate, fearless and works hard to drive real change."

Which women inspire you? Share your female role models in the comments section, below!

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In Testing Times, Test Everything! https://www.mindtools.com/blog/in-testing-times-test-everything/ https://www.mindtools.com/blog/in-testing-times-test-everything/#comments Thu, 15 Oct 2020 11:00:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=23504 "We had little hope of understanding the impact. We didn't know how things would have gone if we'd done nothing." - Jonathan Hancock

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When you're a kid, experimenting comes naturally. You explore with your senses, not just looking and listening but also touching, smelling and even tasting the world around you. You ask questions, test possibilities, take chances.

Some of your experiments work, some don't. Some even hurt. But if you learn the right lessons, experimenting is how you grow.

Test the Water, Fight the Fear of Failure

But as adults, experimenting can feel like a much riskier business. Trying out a new approach might make things a bit better. Then again, it might also make them worse. And if something ain't broke… why invite the jeopardy of trying to fix it?

Organizations can't afford to stand still, though – especially in times of crisis and change. So how can we try out new things and ensure that we learn useful lessons, without putting everything on the line?

Ill-Judged Experiments Can Test You

In many of the places I've worked, the approach to innovation has been one of "testing it by doing it."

Like the time I was at a radio station, where the bosses were determined to make big changes. Unfortunately, they decided to do all their experiments at once. So we recorded new jingles, redid our logo, altered show times, and completely revamped the playlist. But the overall feedback was terrible, and audience figures plummeted.

Not all the results were negative, though. It was just that there was no way to unpick the successes and failures from within all the different things we'd done.

And with no means of pulling back on anything, we just kept pushing forward, making even more changes. That was until enough damage had been done. Before long, the whole station had to be dismantled, and the company was back at square one.

More Lessons in How Not to Experiment

There were similar problems when I worked in elementary schools. There, new ideas about assessment systems, support schemes or teaching styles were often based on people's instincts, or the desire to chase trends. Then tested on everyone at once.

We had little hope of understanding the impact. We didn't know how things would have gone if we'd done nothing. And when things didn't work as hoped, we'd usually come so far from our previous ways of operating that it was impossible to find our way back.

But Sometimes Experimentation Works!

So I picked up "Experimentation Works," by Stefan H. Thomke, knowing that workplace experiments, actually, often fail. I found even more examples in Thomke's book of tests that had done more harm than good.

But I also learned about another side to experimenting – and discovered why some of my old teams had been getting it so wrong.

Trying new things will always involve risks. So, plan your experiments carefully – and always with safety in mind. Experiment early, expecting lots of things not to work. Go for small improvements. Keep your tests as contained as possible. And only implement changes for everyone when there's proof that they're right.

In many ways, it's a simpler approach than the hectic, "best guess" one that I'd been used to. But at its heart is a scientific way of thinking that offers rich and reliable results. And it lets you meet complex new challenges with the feeling that you're already a step ahead.

Experimental Proof

In my current job, I've seen successful experiments at first hand. Granted, my industry has advantages when it comes to testing. In online learning, we can trial small changes in controlled conditions – one at a time, and with little or no risk to the business. We can also run our tests on just some of our customers, without damaging their experience.

But I don't think it's just about the industry you're in, or even the processes you use. It's also about your attitude to experimentation.

If you can get away from the idea that only big, leader-led discoveries count, and that everything needs to be tried at once, urgently, on everyone… then I'm convinced that you can make experimenting work. Wherever you work, whatever you want to improve.

Curiosity, Care and Challenge

"Experimentation Works" shows that, instead of throwing every idea into action, successful organizations puzzle out the best way to test each one in turn. They encourage curiosity, but they also help their people to work scientifically. They make big progress through lots of small steps.

And by creating communities of experimenters, they keep challenging what's possible. That lets them roll out enough proven ideas to progress on a grand scale.

An experimental company like Google, for example, can easily run 25,000 tests in a year. That's going to reveal lots of ideas to reject before they do harm. But it will also highlight plenty to adopt with confidence.

Test Right, and You Can't Go Wrong

The more uncertain the world becomes, the more it pays to test things properly before implementing them. "Experimentation Works" warns us that you can't rely on instinct, or on what's worked in the past. And you can't just hope that everything you try will go the way you planned.

It's boosted my confidence that experimentation can work – if you do it right. Your tests may not produce the results you expected. But if you run them properly, they'll always teach you something valuable.

After all, from childhood onward, it's often by learning what doesn't work that we find out what does.

Downloading our "Experimentation Works" Book Insight

We review the best new business books and the tested classics in our monthly Book Insights, available as text or as 15-minute audio downloads.

So, if you're a Mind Tools Premium Club member or corporate user, download or stream the "Experimentation Works" Book Insight review now.

If you haven't already signed up, join the Mind Tools Club and gain access to our 2,400+ resources, including 390+ Book Insights. For corporate licensing, ask for a demo with one of our team.

What's your approach to experimentation at work? Join the discussion below and let us know!

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Being Present in a Strange World – #MTtalk Roundup https://www.mindtools.com/blog/being-present-strange-world-mttalk/ Thu, 17 Sep 2020 09:02:00 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=23052 When times are tough, some people try to be "present" – while others look for ways to escape

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"Just breathe." "Focus on the present." "Don't worry about the future." These words may sound like helpful pearls of wisdom, but staying present through tough times is often easier said than done.

COVID-19 has stripped away our sense of normalcy and stability. Instead, we now live life on continually shifting ground, with no known destination. In these instances of ongoing change, it's only natural to feel disoriented, to worry about the future, and to mourn what once was. As a result, being present has never been more difficult, nor more important.

Staying Present in Lockdown

Despite all the difficulties caused by lockdown, including my husband being away for almost six months, I kept my head down, focused on work, and took it one day at a time.

Being present in a strange world? Aced it! Or so I thought. This week I was reminded of the difficulties of remaining present, when I came face-to-face with an imagined future without my beloved dog.

Dog of My Life

I spend every day with my loyal and beautiful adopted rottweiler, Kaiser. He sleeps on my bed at night, lays down next to my desk during the day, and pushes his head under my "mouse hand" when he wants attention.

On Thursday night, Kaiser was uncharacteristically restless. By Friday morning, I knew that something was off and rushed him to the vet. During that 100-kilometer drive, Kaiser took a turn for the worse, and the gravity of the situation began to hit me.

After several tests, X-rays, and an overnight stay in the hospital, I got the call to say that Kaiser needed immediate surgery to remove a possible obstruction in his stomach. That was when the dam broke.

I had managed to stay focused on picking up a happy and healthy Kaiser later that day. But now I was confronted with a possible future without my beloved companion.

While making dinner, I began sobbing, and thought, "What am I doing? I'm crying as if he's died." I regained control (sort of) and tried not to think about a tomorrow that might not have Kaiser in it. I reminded myself that he was in excellent care and that there was hope – only to burst into tears again, minutes later.

Focus on the "Now"

Flash forward to today, when I realized that I have to stop thinking about anything other than the present. Kaiser is alive now, and I have things to do now – and that's as far as I can think. I can't even think about what I'm going to cook tonight. Any thought of the future (even if it's only two hours away) brings anxiety.

Trying to force myself to be present doesn't work – it only makes me feel guilty for not getting it right. The only way I manage to "be present" (and not mourn events that have only happened in my head) is to concentrate on what I need to do from moment to moment – and no more.

Editor's Note: Since Yolande wrote this, her beloved dog Kaiser has sadly passed away. He will be sorely missed by his family and all those who got to hear about his and Yolande's adventures together.

Living in a Strange and Unstable World

Many of us had to (and still have to) cope with changed circumstances due to the pandemic. People lost their jobs and incomes, couldn't spend time with family and friends, weren't able to move around freely, and couldn't even get outside to exercise or grab a coffee.

Being Present in a Strange World

During our #MTtalk Twitter chat last Friday, we discussed what it means to be present, and whether it's a way of denying or dealing with reality. Here are the questions we asked, and a selection of your responses:

Q1. What are you running away or hiding from in this strange world?

@JKatzaman I'm avoiding previously common human contact, taking precautions as if my world has become a mobile emergency room.

@TwinkleEduCons I guess I am avoiding attaching myself to any long term plans right now and trying to be open minded & flexible about my future - work & personal.

@ZalkaB I think a lot of times it can come down to uncertainty and fear of the unknown. These volatile times can trigger many fears or make people feel like they can't control things or have some stability in the near future. It can be tough & challenging at times.

Q2. What emotions are you suppressing/struggling with?

@bodytextpro So much! Anger, fear, but also flashes of bizarre joy. Oh and guilt and... desperation? And grief - nothing personal, fortunately, but there's just so much loss right now.

@Sizwemoyo I struggle with melancholy and feel unsafe outside sometimes but I'm too proud to ask for help.

Q3. How do you know when you're not present? How do you feel/think?

@JKatzaman You know you're not present when every message starts with, "Long time, no see."

@Sizwemoyo When things are falling apart, I'm dropping things, and I feel like my head is about to explode, then I know I'm not being present.

@Midgie_MT When I am not hearing or understanding what someone is saying. Feel numb and confused at times.

@ColeenWarden I am full of worry and can't make decisions.

Q4. Can we choose whether to "space out"? How?

@letusthink2 Absolutely! I would just change it to "take a time out." You choose to take that time when you are feeling low/sad/stressed/anxious or anything. Take time to understand the "why" and figure out "how" you can change how you feel.

@ColfaxInsurance Sometimes. If you're in a position you don't want to be in, you can sometimes force yourself to zone out, but I think a lot [of] times it happens on its own and you snap back into reality when something/someone brings you back.

@VardhanPande We can choose to "space out" but it might not go well in a work setting. It can be done by focusing on things that help you regain your focus on work.

Q5. Isn't all this "being present" stuff just a way of denying reality, yes or no? Why?

@BRAVOMedia1 Being present, in my opinion, is a state of mind.

@SizweMoyo I think it's a way of accepting reality. You're choosing to focus on what's happening right now and moving with reality rather than focusing your attention on some past or future event that's not real anymore, or yet.

@letusthink2 I don’t think "being present" denies you of your reality. It makes you more aware of your surroundings, your feelings and who you are. Being truly mindful/present is when you hold yourself accountable to your own actions and words.

Q6. How does being present in a strange world solve anything?

@JKatzaman The strange world will be a variation of what finally becomes the new world. Getting used to it now will keep you a step ahead of others in the transition.

@ColeenWarden Being present in a strange world will help you keep your thoughts organized and remind you what is important to put your energy towards.

Q7. What are your energy levels like when you're present and what does that mean for you?

@lsmurthy99 It's complete control of the situation with positive thoughts, enthusiasm and high energy when I am totally in the present.

@SizweMoyo I actually feel less tired and more alert when I take a moment to be present, this means I'm willing to do what I had planned rather than wallow on opportunities I've missed.

Q8. How does being present help to rationalize what's happening around us?

@MicheleDD_MT Presence removes the emotional chatter & clutter that distracts us. We focus in the facts - what's really happening.

@ColfaxInsurance It makes it easier for us to clearly see, think about and react to what's happening around us.

Q9. How do you stay present when listening to someone who is "spreading fear" or focusing on all the negatives?

@bodytextpro Breathe breathe breathe! And then count to 10, too. Not easy on social media.

@MarkC_Avgi Life is 20 percent what happens to you and 80 percent how you react to it. Choose to ignore those spreading fear or negativity. Be present in your own life, not theirs.

Q10. What can you do for yourself and others to lessen the exhaustion of living in a strange world?

@letusthink2 One of the biggest things that one can do is to not spread "fear." Listen to the facts, follow the guidelines, and keep your families safe the best way you deem fit.

@JKatzaman Don't seal yourself off from those you know and love. Maintaining connections helps you share the load in a journey to the unknown.

To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet collection of this chat.

Our Next #MTtalk

We all know that momentary high from ticking something off a To-Do List. But what should we be adding, or not adding, to our lists in the first place, and how can we avoid them overwhelming us? For our next #MTtalk, we're going to discuss the best way to manage a To-Do List – and find out what a "to-don't list" is!

In our poll this week, we'd like to hear your views on To-Do Lists. You can see the poll, and cast your vote, here.

Useful Resources

In the meantime, here are some resources relating to last Friday's chat.

Note: some of the resources below may only be available in full to members of the Mind Tools Club and corporate licensees.

Mindfulness in the Workplace

How Mindfulness Leads to Emotional Intelligence

How to Keep Calm in a Crisis

8 Ways to Improve Your Powers of Observation

Ben-Shahar's Happiness Model

Top 10 Personal Morale Boosters

What Are Your Values?

In Flow

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Volunteering in Lockdown: How Helping Others Can Help You https://www.mindtools.com/blog/volunteering-in-lockdown/ Wed, 19 Aug 2020 11:00:42 +0000 https://www.mindtools.com/blog/?p=22494 Lockdown may have kept us far apart from those closest to us, but volunteering has brought communities together

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When half the world went into lockdown, "social distancing" was the term on everybody's lips. Here in the U.K., sidewalks were tattooed with two-meter distance markers, families were under house arrest, and we all had to stay far apart, even from those closest to us.

This was harder for some than for others. Those most at risk of the virus had to "shield," which meant they couldn't collect medicines, or even go grocery shopping. And visiting friends? Forget it. It wasn't long before loneliness was our only companion.

Volunteering During Coronavirus

But a huge surge of volunteers responded to the coronavirus crisis, helping in every way they could think of. From making regular phone calls, to handcrafting and delivering essential medical equipment, these volunteers have helped and supported people in their toughest and loneliest months.

And volunteering isn't a one-way street – helping others also helps you. Karma's good like that.

In fact, helping other people or animals can help to alleviate feelings of anger, stress and anxiety. The bonds you build can also protect you against depression and loneliness.

A Girl's Best Friend

I found this to be true when I began voluntary dog walking back in 2014.

My school counselor suggested volunteering as a way to boost my self-esteem and find new purpose. She mentioned The Cinnamon Trust, a national non-profit organization that helps the elderly and terminally ill care for their pets, and I signed up as soon as I could.

After cross-checking my references, the Trust put me in touch with an elderly lady called Sheila and her gorgeous rough collie, Diamond. We all became fast friends and I always looked forward to walking Diamond a few times a week – even if he was only in it for the treats at the end!

Taking him out not only helped Sheila but also improved my physical and mental well-being. I began to feel more confident in myself, knowing I was doing something for someone else. I felt useful and valued, and, just as importantly, was getting outside more.

Volunteering Gave Me a New Leash of Life

Now, six years later, I'm still making friends – and making tails wag.

I've made long-lasting friendships with the people I'm helping, and of course their furry companions! And it's wonderful to know I'm giving something back to the community. I take pride in telling people I am a voluntary dog walker.

During the coronavirus pandemic, I was hesitant to continue volunteering. After all, I didn't want to endanger the already-vulnerable people I was visiting. But the scheme's organizers encouraged us to take precautions (wear masks, keep our distance, sanitize the leash, etc.) and carry on if we were able. And I was as grateful as the dog owners.

Volunteering during lockdown helped me stay sane and social. It gave me something to look forward to when every week felt the same, and meant that I wasn't twiddling my thumbs every weekend!

Not All Heroes Wear Capes… But They Do Wear Masks!

Thankfully, I still had work to keep me occupied during the week. But with over nine million jobs furloughed in the U.K., and over 20 million lost altogether in the U.S., many found themselves with more free time than they knew what to do with.

This was true for my friend, Jessica, who refused to be idle while on furlough.

Instead, she put her sewing prowess to good use to help the healthcare workers in dire need of face masks.

She said, "When the U.K. government announced that masks would be made compulsory on public transport, I knew I had to do something. The announcement had the potential to put a strain on healthcare workers' supplies. So, I decided to get my sewing machine out!"

Jessica was soon overwhelmed by requests from family and friends, but she didn't stop there. "I decided to start selling the masks and donating 50 percent of the profits to the Red Cross Yemen Appeal. I'll give away any masks that I can't sell to local care providers."

Providing the much-needed face masks has restored Jessica's sense of purpose. She said, "Making masks has helped me to feel useful again. I'm also able to practice my sewing skills!"

Community Spirit

And Jessica is far from alone. People all around the world have responded to this need in their millions. In the U.K., more than 10 million people have begun volunteering in their local communities.

Using my town's Facebook page, I asked the members what they had been doing to help the community during the pandemic – and I wasn't disappointed. Turns out I live in a very charitable town!

Take Pia Offord, for example. She set up a vegan food bank with her friends and partner in March. She told me, "We created a new community scheme that supports people in need with free vegan food and hygiene products on a drop-in basis."

The group wanted to give back during the challenging times inflicted by COVID-19.

"We saw people struggle in supermarkets, and read desperate stories on social media by fellow residents, and we wanted to support our ever-growing vegan community. So, we decided to build a network of vegan-friendly, independent businesses in the area."

All Worth It

Volunteering can also be greatly beneficial for your career prospects. You can learn a new skill, gain work experience and confidence, and extend your networks. In some cases, voluntary commitments can even lead to a paid position with the same organization.

"It has certainly been a journey!" Pia said. "I've learned so much about food poverty, food distribution, and all the bits behind the scenes that I would have never thought of before. And I've had to pick up a lot of planning and managing skills!

"It's utterly rewarding to receive feedback from those who we have helped and continue to help. Making a difference to those people's lives has made it all worth it!"

Virtual Volunteering

Facebook has welcomed groups like Pia's, and even expanded its Community Help feature on a global scale. The new COVID-19 hub enables users to volunteer or request help from their communities, either as an individual, or a page.

Others in my town were quick to use this feature, and have teamed up to support healthcare workers. Collaborating in a Facebook group called "Crafting for COVID," some 700 members (and counting!) have handcrafted teddies, ear savers, visors, headbands, scrub bags, and more for doctors and nurses in the local hospital.

Since April, they have donated over 10,000 items!

On the Road to Recovery

In my town, things are beginning to look a little more "normal," with shops reopening and people returning to work. But that means it's likely that the number of volunteers in local communities will start to diminish, though most say they intend to continue post-pandemic.

This includes Paul and Barbara Hillman, founders of a local "4x4 Response" group, who have delivered medical equipment to frontline staff.

Paul said, "The current situation has been a national response and there are volunteer groups all over the U.K.. We have driven over 2,700 miles and we are currently still "on call" as well as starting to get back to work. We will continue to volunteer for the group as long as we are still able to.

"The motivation is to help the community when needed as we have the vehicle that can do it. Although it has also been nice to be able to get out and do something useful rather than sitting at home."

I couldn't agree more, Paul.

Are you a volunteer? Or have you been helping your community during the coronavirus pandemic? Let us know in the comments, below!

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