As human beings, we are meaning-making beings and one of the ways we make meaning is by "story making." How do we do that? We experience many moments and events, and we "make stories" by connecting the dots between the events.

Most of us have asked someone, "Have you heard the story of (the good wolf and the bad wolf)?" Or, when wanting to relate something more personal, we ask something like, "Have I told you the story of the time... I missed my flight because I was head-over-heels in love?" (True story, by the way!)

If you had a funny or special experience you might ask the people you were with, "Do you remember the day we...?" Then you retell the story to one another, filling in one another's blanks, reminding each other of nuances and detail that might have been forgotten. And you laugh or shake your head in disbelief over it again.

In retelling one another the story, you work together to acknowledge and witness the bond that the shared experience created.

We name things that have some importance – and we name our stories too. Sometimes it reflects characters in a tale, a lesson, place, or a process or journey. Think of names like "Tuesdays with Morrie" or "The Midnight Library."

Often, we don't consciously name our life stories or even parts of them, but they become part of our identity – and may even become a dominant narrative in our life. My story with Mind Tools forms an important part of mine and has shaped me in many wonderful ways.

What's My Story With Mind Tools?

One evening in July 2007, I was searching for material on the internet to help me deal with a difficult situation with an employee. One of the sites I was directed to was Mind Tools. I was immediately excited about the wealth of information on the site, and about what was then known as the Forums. And I was so happy to have found a place where I could ask questions in a safe space that I became a subscriber that instant.

I regularly participated in the Forums and almost exactly a year later, the then Forum Manager asked me if I'd like to become part of the Forums team. Funny, I still remember exactly where I was when I read the email: in a very remote part of South Africa where, by some fluke, I happened to get a mobile phone signal for a few minutes.

I was about to embark on a seven-day safari and knew I had to respond before going off into the bush. So, I sent a very eloquent email from my Blackberry (remember those?) saying, "Yes, please! About to lose signal for the next seven days, chat next week."

Comfort Arrived in the Midst of Chaos

So started a long and cherished relationship with Mind Tools, its founders, James and Rachel Manktelow, and many other leaders and colleagues.

From the first day, there was a trust relationship. Even though we'd never met in person at the time, and I was in South Africa and they were in the U.K., they trusted that I'd worked the hours that I billed. And I trusted that they'd pay me! (That trust relationship always remained intact, even though the organization changed hands more than once during my tenure.)

The year 2009 was a chaotic one for me. I got divorced, moved to another city, lost my dogs, and had to move house twice. I also had to find a way to support myself after moving, all while I was in the second year of my studies.

It was also the first time that I really experienced how the Mind Tools team supported one of their own. Even though I was the smallest cog in the machine and lived thousands of miles away. My then manager, Dianna Podmoroff, even offered to have virtual "water cooler chats" (I didn't even know what that meant, it wasn't a thing in South Africa) to give me a safe space to talk.

Even though my role was small at the time, Mind Tools was the one stable element in my life, and it gave me purpose. Even though it was "work," it was also a place where I could be, and breathe, witness others' stories, and help them write new endings.

And Then I Met Them!

In July 2014, after Dianna's departure, I became the Community Manager. I remarried in 2015 and we went to Paris and London for our honeymoon. Seeing that London wasn't far from the Mind Tools HQ at the time, we made a trip to Horsham to finally meet all my wonderful colleagues in person. It was literally one of the highlights of our honeymoon.

Two years later, I was invited to join the celebrations when Mind Tools won the Queen's Award for Enterprise. Once again, I got to meet some colleagues whom I'd not yet seen in person. It was yet another experience and occasion that I'll never forget.

Over the years, I've been privileged to have wonderful team members who gave their all – even though they were all contractors, who worked part-time as Mind Tools coaches. They taught me many things, challenged me, supported me, and helped me to grow as a person and as a leader.

Earlier this year, I reached a point in my life when I desperately needed a six-week break from work. It wasn't a break planned months in advance, but rather weeks. However, as always, the team, with the help of our managing editor, pulled together. They simply made things work; sometimes by the skin of their teeth, but quitting was never an option.

If it sounds like we only had good times, don't be fooled. Over the years we've had sad times, challenging personalities, major health scares, difficult situations, and loads of change to deal with. However, the good times far outweigh anything else. As a team, we always found productive ways to deal with the challenges.

Celebrate the Life

An ending like this cannot arrive without bringing a huge sense of loss. And even though I feel grief, I also celebrate the years I spent with Mind Tools.

I gained experience and learned skills that I wouldn't have learned otherwise. And I was forced to grow, learn and be self-reliant. To find ways of making things work and learn how to work in a virtual team.

I celebrate the people in my team, the leaders who guided me. And, of course, and the colleagues who supported me through thick and thin.

If I didn't already know it, the year that wasn't (2020) revealed who my colleagues were as human beings, and the heart of the company. I received so much love, care and support from everybody and even had the most joyous virtual birthday celebration!

Naming the Story

I was wondering what I'd call it if I had to name my Mind Tools story. While writing this blog, I thought a fitting name would be "Lessons in Love and Leadership."

Lessons in Leadership

The leaders I worked with at Mind Tools always lead by example. I was given room to make decisions, make mistakes, and be me while being taught and guided gently.

They raised the bar and supported me, changed things, and helped me navigate. They listened to me, allowed me to do new things and asked, "What do you need from us?" That's how the #MTtalk Twitter chat came about.

Lessons in Love

I know it feels weird to talk about "love" when talking about a workplace. However, let's treat this as a "mathematical" equation:

Acceptance + kindness + care + support + grace + gentle correction + guidance + connection = love. How can it not be love? It's not the type of love that is shouted from the rooftops yet never actioned. It's rather the type of love that isn't spoken of but demonstrated daily in a thousand different ways.

Human beings are meaning-making beings, and this story of leadership and love helped me make meaning of me.

What's My Next Story?

What's my next story? I don't know. I see the void that invites possibilities, opportunities, and new ways of thinking and becoming. As much as I'm a human being, I'm also a human becoming – one in the process of writing a new story.

But the ending of this story is happening now. All I'm doing with it is sitting with how I feel. I also invite gratitude into this space, gratitude for the shared and sacred Story of Mind Tools. It's one that binds me to some of the most exceptional people I've ever met.

We part as colleagues; we continue as friends.

When Does a Story End?

When does a story start? "That's easy," I hear you say. "It starts at the beginning." But any story really starts long before its beginning.

And when does it end? I hear you say, "It ends at the end." But a story never ends because it changes who we are. It changes how we think, what we do, and some of it passes through us to other people. Its threads and impact continue to grow in ways we know, and don't know.

Two things can be true at once. This is the end of a story, and yet it continues forever.

Special Thanks

Thank you to leaders and colleagues past and present and a special thanks to:

James and Rachel Manktelow, Charlie Swift, Keith Jackson, Jaye O'Farrell-Stevens, Alice Gledhill, Danielle Ormshaw, Dianna Podmoroff, Sarah Kyle, Anne Evison, and John Yates. A special thank you, too, to all my current colleagues in the Content Team, and Mel Dowding.

Resources

You may like to take a look at the following Mind Tools resources, then join the coaches’ events to share your thoughts, ask questions and learn more. Note that you will need to be a Mind Tools Individual or Enterprise member to see all of the resources in full.

This Is My Story
Lead With a Story
What's in a Story?
The Story of Business Storytelling Video

You can read previous blogs by Yolandé and the coaching team here.

About the Author

Yolandé uses her 20+ years of experience as a therapist, coach, facilitator, and business school lecturer to help people develop their careers and live up to their potential. She thrives on facilitating conversations designed to build bridges between people by using creative questioning and thinking techniques.

You may mistake Yolandé for a city girl. But she's an honorary game ranger who loves birding, archaeology, and spending time in the African bush. Early morning runs with her rottweiler and reading (a lot) are her favorite activities. And her neighbors will tell you she loves the kitchen and it gives her joy to "bake" people happy!

The post What's Your Story? appeared first on Mind Tools.

"The difference between real life and a story is that life has significance, while a story must have meaning."

― Vera Nazarian, Russian-American writer

I'm sure many of you enjoy watching a good movie. I do too. But isn't it disappointing to leave the theater feeling that the story didn't live up to your expectations? The cinematography can be beautiful, and the actors outstanding, but if the story falls short, the movie does, too.

Use Your Raw Materials

A few months ago, I suffered a different sort of disappointment with a story. And it happened at a talk given by someone who describes himself as a strong presenter, so I'd been expecting great things!

He started by giving us an outline of his presentation. He also made much of the fact that he'd be telling us an exciting story.

His presentation wasn't exactly riveting, but I looked forward to the story, thinking that it would make up for the lack of depth in the rest of his talk.

Eventually, the moment for the much-anticipated story arrived.

But what a massive disappointment is was! In fact, it wasn't a story at all. He simply told us about the differences between two cities, and the difficulties he'd encountered living there.

His "story" lacked background and context, so it ended up being nothing more than a collection of key points. There was no action, the ending was flat and unsatisfying, and the moral of the story was nowhere to be seen.

Reflecting on it later, I realized that there’d been plenty of potential here for an interesting story. The presenter didn't lack content. He just failed to do anything with his raw materials.

Make Your Story Stick

A good business story is memorable. You won't recall every detail, but there's a good chance you'll remember what you learned from it.

So, what elevates a collection of words and ideas into a story, and how do you make it stick?

A story needs context. Consider this sentence: "Jane ran down the street, looking left and right." If you were telling a story about Jane training for a marathon, she'd likely be looking out for oncoming traffic. However, if the setting was a desolate area, with shady characters standing on street corners, Jane might instead be running away from someone, desperately looking left and right to find help.

Humans are meaning-making beings, and context gives meaning to actions. So…

A good business story uses actions, to show how events unfold – and to engage us emotionally. It's about more than just a story line. People's actions reveal their decisions, their values, and their internal battles. We feel emotions as a result of what the characters in a story do. And it's this emotional connection that lets us make meaning of the story as a whole.

All actions have consequences, and consequences help us to see actions from a different perspective.

Consequences reveal the "lesson." What was the result of the characters' actions? Did they make the right choices? What lessons can we learn from their decisions?

Without this kind of conclusion, we may very well ask, "What was the point of the story?"

Don't bore your audience with unnecessary details. Take your listeners on a journey, keep it relevant, engage their senses – but leave them with food for thought.

Sometimes, the details you put in are less important than the ones you leave out!

Using Storytelling as a Workplace Tool

In last Friday's #MTtalk tweet chat, we talked about making the most of storytelling at work. Here are the questions we asked, and some of the responses we got from members of the Mind Tools community worldwide. Feel free to add your own ideas in the Comments section, too!

Q1. What do we mean by "stories," and what is their role in society?

@MaryEllenGrom Stories are the DNA of society, culture, life. They bring reality to the forefront and create a worthy proof of concept.

@Midgie_MT Stories are the recounting of things that have happened in the past to share experience, strength and hope. By doing so, it helps people to connect with each other and to understand things better.

Q2. Why can storytelling be so compelling?

@lg217 Storytelling can get so emotional to those who read it. You will be surprised how much emotion can communicate with you. It could make you happy and sad and angry. It could also motivate you to do something about it. That is why it is so compelling.

@DrTonyKainth We live our lives in stories. Stories we tell about ourselves, others, the worlds we inhabit. We told stories before we could write them down, so they're a part of what makes us human.

Q3. What elements make an effective story?

@kineretk We connect to what we can "see" and run the "movie" of the story inside our heads, so the details are important. Harry Potter comes to mind!

@MicheleDD_MT Context – where and when. Who – character(s)… Establish the goal – what do you want to accomplish? Introduce the obstacles/challenges. Describe the action(s) taken and the result.

Q4. What role do stories play in the workplace?

@PG_pmp Stories plays a huge role in conveying the right message, motivating people and helping them learn, and identifying the gaps to work on in areas of improvement.

@JusChas Stories play a role in market influence. Commercials are the most powerful stories when trying to sell.

Q5. When might storytelling NOT be helpful?

@MLLNNLmotivator The only instance I can think of is if you're directly replying to a consumer question or concern.

@SanabriaJav Any time an organization is trying to capitalize on a trending issue they risk coming across as opportunists.

Q6. What's the most impactful story you've heard at work, and why?

@carriemaslen I like hearing stories about overcoming challenges, especially if there are strategies I can adopt.

@PIPability Stories about people overcoming challenges. Stories about success. Stories about people making a positive difference. Stories about ordinary people doing extraordinary things.

Q7. What impact does YOUR storytelling have on others?

@TheCraigKaye Creates environments for Socratic learning, telling a story which gives people theories and best practice which they can apply to their own working situation.

@Mphete_Kwetli They learn about the realities of my tribe and of the life black people live throughout their lives.

Q8. Do you plan/rehearse your stories, or think of them in the moment? And what are the pros and cons of each approach?

@MarkC_Avgi If I am presenting, then the story is well-rehearsed. If circumstances at a certain time give rise to a story that relates, they are entirely impromptu, but may have been told before.

@Singh_Vandana Pros – helps in managing timelines, and cons – becomes repetitive for self. Pros – spontaneous stories are very inspiring, sound convincing and authentic.

Q9. Are the stories you choose "real life" or imaginary – and why?

@ThiruHR I use personal stories to illustrate the impact of change.

@kineretk Need to be true to be authentic and believable, otherwise no integrity, doesn't have same impact.

Q10. In what ways can storytelling help you and your team to be more effective?

@sittingpretty61 Storytelling embraces your group and team to include them for key communication which is timely, socially relevant, and invites further application of key team messages.

@Yolande_MT Stories can help you connect the dots, make sense and make meaning of what's happening right now.

You can read the full collection of tweets here.

Coming Up

When stories about poor service go viral, they can do huge damage to a company's reputation. Fortunately, many stories about exceptional service go viral, too!

In our next #MTtalk tweet chat, we'll be talking about people who seek to serve – and do it with passion! In preparation, we'd like to know why we seem to love stories about great service so much. Please share your views in our Twitter poll.

Resources

Meanwhile, here are some resources relating to the topic we discussed this time:

8 Ways to Strengthen Your Team With Positive Narratives

Business Storytelling

Storyboarding

How to Achieve Business Success: Inspirational Stories

5 Ways to Avoid Death by PowerPoint Presentation

How to Be a More Engaging Speaker

Perceptual Positions

The Link and Story Methods

Better Public Speaking

Deal and Kennedy's Cultural Model

User Stories in Agile Project Management

The post Using Storytelling as a Workplace Tool – #MTtalk Roundup appeared first on Mind Tools.

Here at Mind Tools, we’ve talked to a lot of storytelling experts, including Ty Montague, Paul Smith and Annette Simmons.

It was great to hear Bill McGowan's contribution to this rich vein of advice. For him, every story should have three components: the setup, the build, and the reveal. He explained to me that this structure needs to be flexible, so that you can respond to your audience's reaction as your story unfolds.

In this audio clip, from our Expert Interview with McGowan, he offers some tips on holding the attention of your audience. These are outlined in detail in his new book, “Pitch Perfect.”

Listen to the full interview ¦ Install Flash Player.

Question: Do you use stories to get your meaning across? Do you like it when other people do?

The post Speak More Effectively appeared first on Mind Tools.